Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Don't believe everything you read...

So I came across this list the other day of things girls should do for guys....some of them are right. Some of them are wrong. Some of them just need to be adjusted. So I've included the orignal list along with my corrections in bold.

1 As much as you want to talk about past relationships, keep it to a minimum, unless he asks. You don't want him to feel like he's in competition with anyone. However, there is a fine line here with honesty. If you can't be open about your past and things that have hurt you, etc., it won't be much of a relationship. So while you shouldn't talk incessantly about an ex-boyfriend. never neglect to be honest.
2 Every guy has a 'geeky' side of him. Whether it be video games, DVD, WoW, anime, football among other sports, or whatever. Don't make fun of him if you don't like it, either tolerate it, or learn to like it. DO NOT try to change him. If he's constantly ignoring you for that hobby of his, tell him. It's about compromise - chances are you can drag him around a mall later. But be sure there's a balance in the relationship so you are both getting to do things yoiu enjoy.
3 When you hug the boy, hold tight. It doesn't hurt to rest your head on him either. But there are always other ways of showing affection rather than just physical ways...
4 Compromise for movies. Watch his favorite movies and he'll give in for the movie you want to see. Just get really good at shutting your eyes during the war scenes. Welcome to my life.
5 Sometimes pay for the date! I know guys hate this, but if he takes you out constantly, it's more than likely he's going to be poor! Treat him sometime. Even if you just buy the snacks! Plus, you don't have to spend money to have a good time. And double dates with your parents are great ways to go out, save money, and make them happy too!
6 Hold his hand!! Even in the mall when you have a ton of bags, hold his hand. If you're at the mall and have a ton of bags, he should be carrying them. End of story.
7 Don't run away from his favorite stores, if you don't like them! Watch him. Gift ideas!! It's obvious a guy wrote this list. Girls don't run from stores. Period.
8 Any time your guy gives you a compliment, don't just roll your eyes. He means it, and you should smile and say thank you. I know it's hard, girls, but your guy really does care about you. If you respond this way and then get mad at him when he doesn't compliment you anymore, it's no wonder! Quit rejecting the poor guy's efforts to make you feel special!
9 Guys are pressured to take the relationship to a "deeper level". Stupid society. Anyway, if you dont want that in a relationship, tell him before things get too complicated! You can compromise too. If you are uncomfortable with something, STOP. Wow. I don't even know where to start with this one. THROW IT OUT. NEVER compromise. And if you don't want a real relationship, you shouldn't be dating in the first place.
10 “Fine" or “whatever" is not an appropriate ending to a conversation. Only makes matters worse. True. He's not a mind-reader. Tell him what's going on in a mature way, and never go to bed angry.
11 Life isn't a drama or a movie. This is real life, people. They don't often come with a sword, armor, and a white steed. That still doesn't give him an excuse to not treat you like a princess.
12 NEVER EVER kick them in the place below the belt. Even in a fight or argument, just don't do it. Hopefully, most girls wouldn't respond with physical violence, but just in case we need to go there - violence isn't the answer.
13 TRUST HIM. Don't scream when he looks at another girl. We know you were goggling at the cute guy that just passed. It's nature. Don't dig through his phonebook, and hey, guys can have female friends just like girls can have male friends. If this makes things awkward, talk about it. The Bible says that if you look at someone with lust, then you have committed adultry of the heart. This shouldn't be dismissed as "everyone does it, so it's okay." Pray for each other.
14 This should go without saying. Love him for who he is! Don't worry about what others think. Don't try to change him into what's cool and hip. Some compromises can be made, and tell him that if he ever has a problem you changing him, to tell you. But you can always encourage and build one another up to be better and grow closer to God. You should be constantly changing as you grow in Christ because you are a new creation in Him.
15 In an argument, just because society stereotypes women as being smarter, more mature, and men as dumb and immature, doesn't mean you are always right. No, no one is right all of the time. That's why you should always seek God's guidance and direction rather than man's (or woman's.)
16 Listen to him. Even if it's something you don't want to hear. Good communication is key. Yes, you should listen to him. But until you get married, your first authority is to your God and your second authority is your dad. If he is disobedient to one of those, don't listen to him.
17 Cook. It may sound stereotypical, but a lot of guys like having a meal cooked for them. A lot of it is the thought, but if you truly are terrible, then maybe this isn't one you should try. If you know how to cook, maybe teach him, or you both can learn together. Finally. One that doesn't need to be touched.
18 Sing. Many girls underestimate how well they sing. You don't have to be able to sing 10 octaves or whatever. Don't be embarrassed to sing in front of a guy, just let yourself go a bit and have some fun. This is true. Never neglect to be yourself.
19 A girl has the right to show off her body, but keep your pride and dignity. Be careful! If you show off too much, guys (and just people in general) may get the wrong message and make assumptions. I can't "amen" this one enough! Girls, if it's not for sale, don't advertise.
20 Just like girls want girl time, guys want guy time. Giving your guy space to hang with his friends is not only fair, but it shows you trust him in a way. Friendship is very important, especially fellowship with other believers. And just a side note, if you think that you can't trust his friends, then you probably can't trust him either.
21 Respect the guy for who he is, not because he earns your respect. Guys relate to each other on a respect level, and if you want him to open up to you, he has to know that you don't look down on him. Umm, wrong? Respect has to be earned. Sorry, guys. It's not that easy.
22 Let your guy take pictures of you. He may not admit it, but that picture will probably be with him always. Even if you think it looks horrible. As long as the picture is one you would show your parents, yes..
23 Don't always expect the guy to be the one to call. It is okay to call your boyfriend on occasion, and it shows him that you care about him and are thinking about him. And don't get upset if for some reason he doesn't have time to talk. He does have a life. If he's your boyfriend, you can call, but NEVER call a guy first before you're dating. Let him be the man and do his job. And guys, you may "have a life" but if she needs you, take the time.
24 Remind him that you appreciate all the sweet little things he does for you. Let him know it's not all in vain. True.
25 If a guy uses a key to let you into his car, reach over and open the door before he gets to it. I know this may be common sense to most girls, but you know, some do not do this. It's a tiny little action that can make a guy go "hey, she's considerate." Wow. This list was made before the magic unlock remote.
26 Let the guy open the door for you or do any other chivalric action. He's fulfilling your wish for a gentleman, don't deny him the chance to do something nice for you. Thank him! You are doing all these wonderful things for him, let him return the favor. YES! Being a gentlemen is never out of style. Yes, sure, you can do anything a man can do - but that doesn't mean that you have to.
27 Communicate with him. Tell him directly what's on your mind. You can always hope that he'll get your subtle hints or body language, but if it's important, you're better off using words. Yes. God is the only man that can read your mind.
28 Sometimes you have to take the initiative. Don't always wait for him to come to you, because if that's how it always is, you're going to lose him. Disagree. He's the man. Let him be the leader.
29 If they buy you jewelry, wear it around them, even if you don't like it. They will appreciate it, because it's the thought that counts. Not much jewelry that we wouldn't like....
30 A word of appreciation now and then regarding his protective/kind/chivalrousattitude will go miles toward the end. You won't regret it. That's been in here like 3 times already. Must be important. Be gracious. If you expect him to act like a gentleman, respond like a lady.
31 When you are talking to a guy you are interested in, lean in, touch his arm or hand, while your talking. physical touch communicates interest and value. Physical relationships are always difficult until marriage. Draw boundaries and stick to them. And don't just think that you have to run to that line and hang out there every time. Realize that until you get married, your kisses are all you have. Be stingy with them.
32 Whether it's from across the room or while your talking let him know that you are only interested in what he has to say, so look into his eyes and smile. Show him the same consideration that you want him to show to you.
33 Never judge him based on his friends. They may give some insight, but sometimes guys as well as girls can befriend people that are completely opposite of themselves because they like the change. Don't let who he hangs around with be the deciding factor of your judgments about him. Get to know him. False. Who you hang around says a lot about you. If you don't like his friends, it won't last. Don't bother.
34 Cute is what he is when he does something goofy, not how you should compliment his looks. Tell him he looks handsome... or any other word you'd use to describe James Bond. Just like you wouldn't want him to tell you that you look tough.... remember your audience. Even if you would take it as a compliment, that doesn't mean that he will!
35 Let him know you're on his side and that you support him and believe in him. Encouragement - all the way.
36 Call him instead of IMing or e-mail. Let him talk to you and hear your voice. Note: sometimes, it can't be helped. long distance relationships are sometimes forced to use AIM. In this case, use a camera!! You can see him and hear him. Typing is great, but a lot can get lost and mis-communicated. You'll save a lot of drama if you will only use texting or e-mail as a last resort.
37 Write him letters! If you want to tell him something but just can't come up with the words in person, take the time to write them down. He'll appreciate it because he can read word for word how you feel for him over and over again, and you know he won't forget it. There are some romantic gestures that will never go out of style...
38 Girls should do little things for guys. If they ask for a drink, just get it for them cuz they don't ask often. Or surprise them with little gifts (even if homemade) it ll show them that you care about them and thought about them during the day, even if they don't admit it, they like it as much as we do. Yeah, you shouldn't be his slave, but there's nothing wrong with having a servant's heart. Don't be insulted and get caught up in being a crazy feminist if he asks you to do something for him. If he's a good one, he does things for you too. No relationship should be one-sided. And the little things DO matter.
39 DON'T CHEAT ON HIM! IT'S NEVER WORTH IT! He WILL find out one way or another and odds are, you guys are through. Whether you were already split up or still dating... you'll be lucky if he still wants to be your friend! Doesn't that pretty much go without saying? But just in case you thought cheating on your boyfriend would help your relationship, it won't. And if you thought that, you're not ready to date.
40 Forgive him. Not hundreds of times for the same mistakes, but relationships are going to have problems and there will be apologies on both sides... Forgiveness is a huge part of a relationship. You may not always want to do it, and he will definitely not always deserve it, but then again, we don't necessarily always deserve forgiveness either...If you know that you and the one you are with should end the relationship, have the integrity and respect to tell them that the relationship is over. Do not just leave and never speak to them again. People are not perfect - no one is. So forgive and don't harbor bitterness, but also don't allow yourself to be emotionally abused. Guard your heart and lean on Christ. You will eventually find a man who is following Christ, and you can hop in line.

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Esther 4:14b

"And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"