Friday, December 14, 2007

The List


The List
By: Michelle (soon-to-be) Myers








Princess Michelle went about every day,
Making time to create, read, and play..
She had wonderful parents to guide her way,
Who promised her God would never lead her astray.
At a young age, her wise father asked her to obey:
“You need a prince, and for him, you must pray.”

And so for once, young Michelle did as she was told,
And imagined how the rest of her life would unfold.
She took out some paper and started a list,
Of qualities in that man who somewhere did exist.
After a few minutes of thought and debate,
She began to pray for her future mate.

“God, make him nice, funny, and sweet.
Make him really strong, except in racing; make him easy to beat.
Help him to love dogs, ice cream, and You.
Make his words kind, gentle, and true.”

Michelle got older and started junior high,
She never had a boyfriend, and her friends wondered why.
“They’re not him,” she told them, yet she couldn’t convince,
That waiting was worth it, to someday have her prince.
One day she sat down and examined her list,
And realized there were a few traits she had missed.

“God, make him smart, and anything but shy,
Have him know to just hold me if I start to cry.
From up there, can you see anyone who’s a lot like my dad?
You know what a great example of a Christian man I’ve had.”

Time went on, and Michelle began to date,
Even though something inside her still wanted to wait.
They weren’t quite frogs, but nothing more than a friend.
When it came to the list, none could contend.
As high school ended, Michelle again reached for pen,
It was time to add more to that list again.

“God, help him to respect me and all my dreams,
And you know me and sports; can we please like the same teams?
He doesn’t have to be rich, I know love can’t be bought,
And I know this is shallow…but can you please make him hot?

So college started, and new boys came around,
But the boy on her list, she never found.
She gave up on the dating scene and focused on her,
The next three years were quite a blur.

Michelle finally gave in and believed all the lies,
Her prince didn’t exist; they were all just guys.
She drifted further away from the girl she’d always been,
And decided life would be better if she was just thin.

She began to feel unlovable, ugly, and plain,
Her family begged her to eat and for her body to sustain,
But Michelle wouldn’t listen,
She knew being skinny would return her glisten.

Then one day, God opened her eyes,
And He assured her that her husband list was quite wise.
“Obey Me, and follow My plan,”
God said, “And in My time, you will meet your man.”

God’s voice continued to speak after her spiritual rebirth,
“Go to Southwestern Seminary, the one in Fort Worth.”
Michelle decided to take that leap of faith and commit,
She had learned with God, it was best to submit.
She opened her desk to begin packing her supplies,
And as she came across her list, she had a few things to revise.

“God, help him to forgive me for all that I’ve done,
Make his life passion be serving Your Son.
Bring him to me either at school or at church,
I’m so tired of games, and I don’t want to search.
Please don’t let him think any girls are prettier than me,
And I know I’m headed to Texas, but please make him from Tennessee!”

Three weeks later, while on her new job,
Michelle saw a boy that by seminary standards, was a slob.
In an LSU t-shirt, shorts, and a hat,
Her urge to look a third time, she had to combat.

He finally approached her, and he did it all wrong,
But in no time at all, she found where her prince had been all along.
A gorgeous athlete from west Tennessee,
Who chased Jesus alone, by his own decree.

Their first date, they both knew right then,
They were going to be married; they just didn’t know when.
Months later, out of curiosity’s sake,
Michelle pulled out her list to see if she’d made a mistake.

As she carefully read over it, a tear fell down her cheek,
How could she have found someone so unique?
He met every quality, exceeding every one,
Michelle suddenly realized, her list was almost done.

“God, thank You for giving me this man by my side.
Please give me all that I need to be his bride.
Help him to always challenge me and tell me when I’m wrong,
Help me to let my guard down and not try to be so strong.

Thank you for making him so genuine and real,
Being in his arms every time is surreal.
He’s not everything I asked for, he’s better and he’s more,
Life is sure to never be a bore.”

“God, even though he is gorgeous, that’s not what stands out,
I see how much he loves You and serves You so devout,
I’ve always wondered how I just knew,
That he was the one, I just knew it was true.
But now I see that when I look at him, I recognize the view,
Because each time I’m around him, it’s like I’m with You.”

So Michelle smiled to herself and completed her list,
And as folded it shut, the cover she kissed.
For the cover, once empty, now boldly proclaims,
“The Characteristics I Want in My Husband: James.”

For James
Christmas 2007
I love you.

For James
Merry Christmas, baby.
I love you.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Whatever It Takes, Lord


Challenge yourself today. Read through this statement first. After you've read it, decide if you can commit to it. Don't just read a bunch of words to God that you don't really mean. This is a big commitment, but if you read it, pray it, and DO IT, it will radically change your life.

Today I am stepping across the line. I'm tired of waffling, and I'm finished with wavering. I've made my choice; the verdict is in; and my decision is irrevocable. I'm going God's way. There's no turning back now!
I will live the rest of my life serving God's purposes with God's people on God's planet for God's glory. I will use my life to celebrate his presence, cultivate his character, participate in his family, demonstrate his love, and communicate his Word.
Since my past has been forgiven, and I have a purpose for living and a home awaiting in heaven, I refuse to waste any more time or energy on shallow living, petty thinking, trivial talking, thoughtless doing, useless regretting, hurtful resenting, or faithless worrying. Instead I will magnify God, grow to maturity, serve in ministry, and fulfill my mission in the membership of his family.
Because this life is preparation for the next, I will value worship over wealth, "we" over "me," character over comfort, service over status, and people over possessions, position, and pleasures. I know what matters most, and I'll give it all I've got. I'll do the best I can with what I have for Jesus Christ today.
I won't be captivated by culture, manipulated by critics, motivated by praise, frustrated by problems, debilitated by temptation, or intimidated by the devil. I'll keep running my race with my eyes on the goal, not the sidelines or those running by me. When times get tough, and I get tired, I won't back up, back off, back down, back out, or backslide. I'll just keep moving forward by God's grace. I'm Spirit-led, purpose-driven and mission-focused, so I cannot be bought, I will not be compromised, and I shall not quit until I finish the race.
I'm a trophy of God's amazing grace, so I will be gracious to everyone, grateful for everyday, and generous with everything that God entrusts to me.
To my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I say: However, whenever, wherever, and whatever you ask me to do, my answer in advance is yes! Wherever you lead and whatever the cost, I'm ready. Anytime. Anywhere. Anyway. Whatever it takes Lord; whatever it takes! I want to be used by you in such a way, that on that final day I'll hear you say, "Well done, thou good and faithful one. Come on in, and let the eternal party begin!”

-- Taken from Saddleback Church's Angel Stadium Declaration by Pastor Rick Warren, April 14, 2005--

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

My Personal Vow to God's Word



It's pretty rare to have a final that you're anxious to complete. However, I got an assignment in seminary that was cool enough to make it to the blog - without having to be edited. (A RARE occurance, I assure you!) But my professor assigned our class to write vows that describe our personal bond to Scripture. So, here you go :)

SCRIPTURE IS:

IMPARTIAL: (2 Timothy 4:3) First, I vow to take responsibility for the presuppositions that I bring to the text, acknowledging that my experience, background, and personal belief system will all effect how I will interpret Scripture. While presuppositions cannot be avoided, I vow to be self-critical enough to recognize that my own personal theories may not be accurate and dedicated enough to read Scripture as objectively as possible, remembering the warnings in Scripture of relying too heavily on my own desires rather than what His Word says.
INSPIRED: (2 Timothy 3:16) Second, I believe God has provided two main sources of revelation of who He is. He reveals Himself through His written Word in Scripture, and He best reveals Himself through the personal example of His Son, Jesus Christ, whom we come to know through the Word. Therefore, the Bible is irreplaceable as how God reveals Himself to the world.
INFINITE: (Psalm 119:160) Third, I regard Scripture as my final Word. The Bible is set apart from any other written manuscript because the text results from dual authorship; there is a human author and a divine author. Therefore, Scripture has authority not only as a historical account from an author who was present at the time, but Scripture exists as the holy Word of God. Therefore, I vow to always use Scripture as the ultimate authority.
INERRANT: (John 17:17) Fourth, I commit that His Word is truth. Therefore, I believe that Scripture contains no error, no discrepancy, and no confusion, but it is the complete and absolute truth.
INFALLIBLE: (Jeremiah 29:11) Fifth, I believe God has a plan and a purpose for each of His children who are seeking after Him. We seek Him by digging into His Word to learn more about Him. I vow to follow His Word, trusting that His teachings will never lead me astray.
INVARIABLE: (Isaiah 40:8) Sixth, I hold to the fact that God’s Word is timeless, making it as relevant to me today as it was when it was written thousands of years ago. Scripture can be applied across time and across cultures; it has no boundaries or limitations.
INDIVISIBLE: (John 10:35) Seventh, I vow to view Scripture in its whole entirely, not just picking and choosing verses I like to gather meaning. I commit to search for the common purpose within His Word to reconcile me to Him and grow spiritually.

In summary, I vow to respect His Word and remain in awe of His presence while daily meditating in His Word. I commit to pray for continued passion to hide His Word in my heart that I might not sin against Him. As I seek Him, I submit to Him in total faith to use His Word as a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. (Psalm 119:11; 105)

Monday, December 10, 2007

Do You Trust Me? Part 7


My mom took the job, and she was amazing. No one would have ever known that she was pretty much making it up as she went. Other hospitals began inquiring who my mom was and what she was doing to get such great results. She was considered to be an expert in her field by many. She loved her job, and it was so much fun to see her be so happy.
She touched so many lives through the course of her illness, and her impact rolled over into her job at the Life Center. She continues to be an amazing encourager, listener, and motivator.
I’m grown now, and I’m getting married in just a few months. It won’t be long before I’ll be starting a family of my own.
I’ve learned a lot from my mom throughout the years, but if I had to limit myself to just one lesson I would want to take with me, it’s this:
Do you trust me? Yes.

*************************************************************************************

My mom has now been cancer free for ten years! Praise the Lord!

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Do You Trust Me? Part 6

Life went on for the next few months, and it was pretty normal. I finished my first year of middle school, and Melody finished her first year of high school. Before we knew it, it was almost time for the New York trip and my mom’s surgery.
I argued with my parents everyday, and I begged for them to let me stay home with my mom. It was all wasted breath. However, a few weeks before the trip, my dad told me that he had arranged for us to leave New York early so we could be home the day after my mom’s surgery when she came home from the hospital.
The trip was incredible, and I had an amazing time. I saw the Statue of Liberty, stood between the two towers of the World Trade Center, shopped in Time Square, saw the Today Show Live, and saw Beauty and the Beast on Time Square. I wished for my mom to be there at almost every turn, but I knew that she really wanted me to be on this trip.
Whenever we prayed before a meal or before the choir sang, someone always voiced my mom’s name in their prayer, so I knew we were lifting her up the best way we could.
When we got back to the hotel every night, I would call my mom and excitedly tell her about my day. I took six rolls of film during the trip, and I told her I couldn’t wait to show her every detail.
The day of my mom’s surgery came, and my dad and I headed to the airport to fly home. My sister was pretty much a basketcase when we left, but it was for the best for her to stay with her friends and keep her mind off of everything that was going on at home.
I don’t remember much about the flight home. I just knew that it took us a lot longer to drive a 60 passenger van than it did to take a flight home!
My mom was well taken care of while we were gone. Friends from church had come by during the day to keep her company, and someone new brought her dinner every night. My mom admitted that she actually liked the peace, quiet, and rest before her surgery.
The surgery itself was picture perfect. The doctors went ahead and removed a few of her lymph nodes, just in case the cancer had spread. When they completed the biopsy of the additional tissue they removed, it was benign. The cancer had not spread at all. With one surgery, she was cancer free.
I felt guilty at first, especially around Katie, because my family’s situation turned out much better than the ending she and her family were dealt. Katie never seemed upset though. She was just glad my mom was okay.
About a week after my mom’s surgery, I hugged my mom carefully and said, “I’m so glad that’s over,” I said.
She smiled. “It’s not over, Michelle. God’s still going to use this. I just don’t think he’s done yet.”
I dismissed her words without another thought. In my mind, it was over, and I was happy about it!


Once again, my mom was right. About a month after her surgery when she returned to the hospital for a follow-up visit, one of her favorite doctors told her they needed to talk to her. At first, my mom was a little nervous, thinking that perhaps they hadn’t gotten it all after all.
However, it turned out that the doctor wanted to talk to her about becoming the manager of the Baptist Cancer Institute Life Center associated with the hospital. This was a new education center they were trying to start, giving cancer patients and their families a place to go for support, encouragement, and information. The doctors were so impressed with the way my mom handled herself throughout her own battle with the disease, they knew she was the perfect fit for the job.
Even though she didn’t have any business experience. Even though she had never been a manager of anything. Even though she didn’t have a medical background. Even though all she had ever done in her adult life was teach music to elementary school students.
On paper, she was anything but qualified. Through building a relationship with her, though, the board of directors at the hospital didn’t want anyone else for the position. God really was up to something.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Do You Trust Me? Part 5

I began to feel proud as I watched my mom. She was very fortunate not to have to have any chemotherapy or radiation. In fact, most people who were around us at the grocery store or at the mall would not have any way to know that my mom was fighting a deadly illness.
Still, I knew some days were harder on her than others. Together, she and my dad had decided that she would go ahead and have a mastectomy, just to make sure that they got rid of all of the cancerous tissue. She was not too prideful to admit that this was a hard decision since women are always a little self-conscious of our bodies anyway. And she did get tired more often. She used to go like the Energizer Bunny, but now, she had to limit her activity.
One of my mom’s doctors called cancer “the disease of nice people.” He said that while they were some obvious exceptions, most cancer patients he dealt with were all previously sick with the “yes disease.” They’re the room mom for both of their kid’s classrooms. They cook dinner every night and keep the house tidy. They stay up late helping one child finish their homework and get up early the next morning to make cupcakes for their husband’s office. They volunteer to hand out water bottles at the charity 5K races…and the list continues. That description completely fit my mom.
That doctor told my mom that if she allowed herself to be over-committed while she had cancer that she didn’t value her live or her family’s lives. That got her attention, and my mom definitely slowed her pace down.
Every once in a while, it was nice to come home and see my mom sitting on the couch with my dad. Even though I knew it was because of doctor’s orders, I had never really paid attention to how much my mom did for everyone else and how she always did without. She never complained about it once.
The doctors were thrilled with her progress, and they all looked forward to her visits. They talked about how much fun she was to treat because she was always so appreciative and so inquisitive. My mom wanted to learn everything she could about the illness, the healing process, and anything else she could absorb from their knowledge.
I hadn’t allowed one negative thought to cross my mind since that day in my dad’s office at church. I didn’t avoid people at church. In fact, following the example of my mom, I looked for times when I could encourage someone who was hurting.
In April, they scheduled my mom’s surgery. The only convenient time for everyone was the same week that our whole family was supposed to be on a choir mission trip with the church in New York City. I had dreamed of going to New York my whole life, so I was immediately crushed at my dream trip being canceled. I didn’t want to be selfish though, so I refused to act upset.
Later that day, as I was helping my mom cook dinner, she asked, “What musical do you think your dad will get you all tickets to see?”
I looked up. “Huh?” I asked. “When?”
“In New York,” my mom said. “On Broadway.”
I tried not to show my disappointment. “Oh, I don’t know what they’ll go see. I’m sure whatever he picks will be great.”
My mom looked confused. “What they’ll go see? You’re going to be there, sweetie.”
I shook my head. “No way. You’re getting surgery that week. There’s no way I’m going. I mean, I know dad has to go because he’s leading the trip. And Melody’s in the choir, so she needs to be there too. But I’m staying with you.”
My mom stopped what she was doing and grabbed both of my hands. “Michelle, I’m going to be fine. I want you to go to New York. You’ve been talking about this trip for months.”
“New York’s always going to be there, Mom,” I argued. “I can go another time. I want to be here with you.”
My mom leaned back and folded her arms across her chest. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to pull the Mom card,” she said, casually.
I rolled my eyes, playfully. I always accuse my mom of playing the “Mom” card to get what she wants sometimes. It basically means she’s the mom, and I’m the child. What she says goes, and I can just deal with it. “This is no time for the Mom card,” I said. “You know how stubborn I am, and I refuse to leave you at home by yourself that week.”
“Well, you had to get all of that stubbornness from someone, didn’t you?” my mom grinned. “And you’re going on that trip, Michelle. End of story.”
“We’ll see,” I said, and I returned back to stirring the vegetables on the stove. “I’ll ask Dad what he thinks when he gets home.”

Friday, December 7, 2007

Do You Trust Me? Part 4

“Melody! Michelle! It’s time to leave!” my mom’s chipper voice rang throughout the house. “Come on, you know your dad doesn’t like it when we’re late to church!”
I took one final look in the mirror before I bounded down the stairs. Melody was right behind me.
“Did you eat breakfast?” my mom asked. “I made those muffins you like yesterday, and there are still some left.”
“I already got one,” I said. My voice was monotone.
“Are you okay this morning, sweetie?” my mom asked. She smiled. “It’s beautiful outside.”
How can she be so happy? Doesn’t she know she’s dying? Doesn’t she know that she’s going to leave me to grow up without a mom?
Every day wasn’t always like this. Sometimes, I could go throughout my day as normal and only think about my mom’s cancer when I prayed for her. Other days were harder. Church days seemed the hardest. Everyone at church wanted to hug me, to tell me that everything was going to be fine, and to tell me that they were praying for me and that God was in control of this situation.
Sure, God’s in control. That’s easy for them to say.
We got into the car, and my mom started sharing with us what her Sunday School lesson was over. When she finished, she simply said, “Isn’t God amazing? I mean, no matter what I’m going through, the lesson always seems to be exactly what I need to hear.”
How does she have that much faith? I just didn’t get it. She had been to the same funerals that I had. She knew what this disease was capable of.
At church, I tried to avoid the right people – pretty much everyone forty and older, my family’s closest friends, and all of the church staff. My friends knew I didn’t like to talk about it, and they were pretty good distractions.
I was leaving the sanctuary when I heard a little voice behind me. “Hey Chelle!” I turned around to see Taylor Few, the seven-year-old grandson of Mrs. Carol, bounding down the stairs of the balcony. Taylor ran up and hugged me. “We’ve been praying for your family at dinner,” he told me. He looked proud of himself.
“Thanks, Tay,” I said. “We’re still keeping your family in our prayers too. How is everyone?”
“Papaw gets pretty sad sometimes. And I do too. But then I just think about how much fun she has to be having in heaven, you know?” Taylor was swinging on the railing of the stairs leading to the balcony. “She wasn’t having fun down here anymore, but I bet she’s happy now.”
I wanted his innocence. I wished I had faith like his. I just knew too many facts. I didn’t know how to reply to Taylor, so I was relieved when he opened his mouth again. “Do you think she’s watching me all the time?”
I laughed a little to prevent myself from crying. “I bet she is. And I think right now, she would probably want you to stop swinging on the railing so you don’t fall and hurt yourself.”
He smiled at me and placed both feet on the ground. “I bet you’re right.” He looked up and said, “Sorry, Nana.” With that, he took off running to his parents on the other side of the room. I saw Todd and Cindy start to walk towards me, so I waved at them and then walked out the door before they could get too close to start a conversation.
As soon as I walked out the door, I was greeted by two ladies I didn’t know. This wasn’t unusual. In a church the size of mine, it was easy for people to know me since my dad was on staff while I had no clue who they were. I tried to smile and walk on politely, but one of them grabbed me by the arm.
“You know, your mother is amazing,” she said. “Absolutely amazing,”
Just what I want to hear.
I smiled, weakly. “Thanks. I think so,” I said.
“She just has this joy in her that is so contagious. I feel better just being around her,” she went on.
The woman next to her nodded in agreement. “I know. I just think about how I would react if I had cancer. I would be bitter, angry, confused, and hurt. Your mom is just so poised and so positive. It’s really inspiring.”
Hmm. Bitter. Angry. Confused. Hurt. That sounds about right. That sounds pretty normal.
“Just tell her that we love her,” the first woman added. “And we’re praying for a speedy recovery.”
I thanked them for their kind words, and quickly ducked into my dad’s office. Safe at last.
My dad was sitting at his desk, shuffling some music around. “Hi, kiddo,” he greeted me when he looked up.
”Hey,” I said, slumping into one of the meeting chairs.
“How was your Sunday School class this morning?” he asked, putting down the papers he was looking over.
I shrugged. “Pretty good, I guess. We prayed for Mom.”
“Prayer is always a good thing,” my dad said. “You can never have too much of it. In fact, its times like these that can really bring us to our knees. I’ve prayed more for our family over the past few weeks than I have in my life. I’m just sad that it took your mom getting sick for me to start praying like I should have been all along.
Great. Not him too! Didn’t anyone understand why I was so scared?
My dad noticed my silence and said, “You’re not mad at God for this, are you?”
That was all I needed. “Of course I’m mad!” I admitted, folding my arms across my chest. “Why aren’t you?”
“I don’t see how being mad about this is going to help your mom get any better,” my dad said, reasonably. “The doctors think her cancer is going to be completely curable with just one surgery, and she has some of the best doctors in the country. She gets tired pretty easy, but all in all, your mom feels pretty normal. Considering the circumstances, we’re pretty blessed,” he said, coming over to sit in the chair next to me.
He was right. I knew he was right. He was always right. If it didn’t come in handy so often, I would be annoyed at how right he was.
“Why don’t you just try to be positive with us, okay?” he suggested. “Did you know that there’s actually been research done that shows having a positive mental attitude throughout cancer has a better survival rate?”
I perked up. “Really?”
“Really,” my dad smiled at me, revealing the one dimple on his right cheek. “Come on, complete me,” he said.
I laughed. I have one dimple on my left cheek, so I’ve always told my dad that my smile completes his.
“Atta girl,” he said. “Let’s get home and make some lunch for Mom and Melody. What do you think?”
I hugged my dad, and we headed for the door. I walked out of church feeling better than I had in a while.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Do You Trust Me? Part 3

The next few days were pretty rough. I am normally a daddy’s girl, but I avoided him whenever possible. I can’t lie to my dad, so it was just better for me to not be around him. As for my sister, I knew how to get her to leave me alone. I just had to hurt her feelings a few times, and she wouldn’t open her mouth around me. I don’t remember what I said, but I do remember the hurt look on her face. She waited for me to apologize, but I never said a word.
God didn’t ask me again if I trusted Him. If He did, I wasn’t listening. And as for my mom, she would give me a sympathetic smile whenever we crossed paths. Sometimes, she would just reach forward and hug me. I never pushed her away, but I never welcomed her embrace either. It was too painful.
Thursday night, we sat down to eat dinner as a family. This wasn’t completely out of the ordinary, but something was different, and everyone knew it. As we silently poured drinks and passed food around the table, I knew what was coming.
Finally, my dad broke the silence. He looked tired, but he still had a smile on his face. “Girls, we need to talk to you about something.”
My eyes filled up with tears. Don’t say it, I thought.
“Your mom had a doctor’s appointment earlier this week, and she’s gotten back some news today. Your mom has breast cancer,” my dad said, swallowing to hold back his emotions.
Melody’s hands flew over her mouth, and she burst into tears. “What?” she asked. “Why? How?”
My dad held up one hand, as he saw my mom beginning to tear up as well. “Now, here’s the good news. Her doctor said she’s discovered it in the very early stages, and it’s completely treatable. There are a few options with treatments and surgeries, so we’ll be looking into that over the next few days.”
My mom smiled at us, “Girls, God is going to use this. I’m going to be okay,” she said. “So you girls just keep your chin up, okay?”
I nodded, still not looking at anyone at the table. How could you do this to us, God? My dad’s a minister. My mom teaches Sunday School. I won state in Bible Drill for six years in a row. And Melody even goes to a Christian school! This shouldn’t be happening. Not to us.
Melody continued sobbing, and my mom reached over to rub her arm softly as she cried. “Melody, please don’t cry,” my mom pleaded, trying to console my sister. She looked up at me, and we locked eyes. “Michelle,” she said, trailing off. I looked away.
My dad continued. “What we need from you girls is to keep your bickering to a minimum. The doctor explained to us how stress can impact cancer negatively, and you know how it upsets your mom when you girls fight. Can you do that for us?”
Melody and I looked at each other and nodded. In that moment, I knew Melody forgave me. Somehow, she just understood.
My mom changed the subject, and asked Melody about school. They carried on small talk, while I stayed pretty quiet. I pushed the food around on my plate with my fork to make it look like I was eating, but I didn’t have an appetite. After about twenty minutes, I excused myself to go take a bath.
I remember how I thought the running water would mask the noise of my tears, and I cried again for what seemed like the hundredth time in a row. As I got out of the shower, Melody called to me from her room. “After you get dressed for bed, come in here, okay?”
Ten minutes later, I walked into my sister’s room. She was curled up on her bed, snuggled into covers and holding her giant Winnie the Pooh stuffed animal for comfort. When I got close to her, I saw that she was crying.
“Did you really know the whole time?” she asked me.
I nodded. “I was with her when she found it,” I said quietly.
“Is that why you’ve been so mean the past couple of days?” she asked.
I nodded again. “Sorry,” I managed to say. I felt tears trying to well up in my eyes again, but I must have used all the ones I had already because no tears ever fell.
“Do you want to sleep in here tonight?” she asked, opening up the covers on the other side of her bed.
“Yeah,” I admitted. “I do.” And with that, I crawled into bed next to my sister and fell asleep to the sound of her sniffles.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Do You Trust Me? Part 2

Three weeks later, my mom and I walked back into the house from Carol’s funeral. Carol Few was an older lady in my church who had been like a grandmother to Melody and me. She had never been sick, and then, all of the sudden…ovarian cancer. Again.
I hated cancer – the disease, the word, everything. It ended lives and devastated families, and it did it quickly.
“Go ahead and change your clothes,” my mom said, as we headed up the stairs. “Put on something comfortable, and we can put a movie on while I finish ironing your dad’s shirts for the week.”
My eyes lit up. I still hadn’t practiced piano for the day, and my mom so rarely let me skip days. Before she could change her mind, I darted to my room and changed into my t-shirt and Nike pants as fast as I could.
I went to my bathroom and put my hair in a ponytail. As I ran the brush through my hair, I heard the voice again. Michelle, do you trust Me?
Frustrated, I dropped the brush on the counter, and the clang of the metal hitting the marble surface echoed. God, why do You keep asking me that? You know that I trust You!
This time, there was no reply. If there was, I didn’t hear it because I was interrupted by my mom’s voice. “Michelle?” she called from her bedroom. “Are you okay?”
I flipped the light switch on the bathroom, thankful for an interruption. I darted down the familiar hallway of the upstairs and made a flying leap onto my parents’ bed as I had done a million times before. “I’m fine, Mom. I just….” my voice trailed off.
My mom was standing in her closet, half dressed, and her face was as white as a ghost. She put her hand over a chest and shut her eyes, as if she was struggling to breathe.
“Mommy?” I asked, sitting up to move towards her. “Mommy, what’s wrong?”
She shook her head and turned around to face her clothes.
“Mom,” I said again, with a firmer tone. “What is it?”
She tuned around to face me, and I saw there were tears in her eyes. “There is a lump on my breast.”
My heart literally sank. I felt it drop. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to scream. Instead, I simply said, “What?” in utter disbelief.
“I have a lump on my breast,” my mom repeated. “I felt it when I was changing my shirt.”
At that moment, I buried my face in my mom’s pillow. No, God, no. Not me. Not my mom. Not my family.
My mom came to sit down on the bed next to me, and I leaned onto her. She either let me cry for a minute, or she was silent, trying to gather her own composure.
She pulled me away from her. “Michelle, look at me,” she said.
Reluctantly, I opened my eyes. At the sight of my mom, I immediately had to look away. I couldn’t handle seeing her right now.
“It’s going to be fine,” she told me. “I’m going to be okay. In fact, it’s probably nothing. I’ll just go to the doctor to get everything checked out just to be safe, and then, everything will go back to normal.”
“Normal,” I repeated. “Yeah.” I still couldn’t look at her.
“I’ll call first thing on Monday morning,” my mom promised. “But Michelle…” she paused. “Michelle, look at me for a minute, okay?”
I looked up, my eyes once again swelling with tears. “Don’t tell your Dad about this, okay? Or Melody. I don’t want them to worry about this unless…I just don’t want them to worry about it, okay? Promise me.”
I nodded, taking the chance to look away again.
“Michelle, promise me. You have to.”
“I promise,” I finally whispered.
“Good,” she said, forcing a smile and cheerfulness into her tone. “Now, go wash your face, and then let’s get the movie night started.”
Lifeless, I trailed to the bathroom and splashed water on my face.
Do you trust me?
I became angry, and I lowered my face to the sink, hoping the rushing water from the faucet would prevent the flow of tear from my eyes.
Do I trust You? The One who took away Katie’s mom? The One who made Mr. Few cry today?
For the first time in my life, I had a different answer. I don’t know if I trust You anymore, God. And if You take my mom from me, I definitely don’t know if I can trust You.
I gathered my composure and went downstairs. My mom was already down there, and I saw one of our favorite chick flicks was already playing on the TV. The ironing board was nowhere in sight, and I didn’t say anything. Silently, I curled up next to my mom on the couch, wrapped both of my arms around her arm, and rested my head on her shoulder. My eyes never left the TV screen, but I didn’t pay attention to the movie at all.
As I sat there, I silently prayed, Please, God. Don’t take my mom. I’m not ready. I’ll do whatever you want. Just don’t take my Mommy away from me. Please.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Do You Trust Me? Part 1

This is a true story of my life - an account of how God used my mom being diagnosed with cancer to positively impact my whole family. He gives and takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord!


I folded my arms across my chest as we pulled out of Katie’s driveway. How could a house that used to be so full of love feel so empty? What kind of a friend was I that my best friend was hurting, and I had no words to comfort her?
My mom patted my leg with her hand before she put both hands on the steering wheel. “She’s going to be okay, Michelle.”
I nodded, fighting back tears. I knew that if I tried to speak, I was going to cry again. There had been enough crying lately.
About a year ago, Katie’s mom had been diagnosed with melanoma, a type of cancer with a low-survival rate. This was her second battle with the disease, but the outcome was different this time. She didn’t win this round.
Over the past three years, Katie had become a part of my family, and likewise, I became a part of hers. Weekends were spent at one of our two houses, and we even argued with one another’s siblings.
The past year had been tough. We spent a lot more time at my house than we spent with her family. Her mom spent a lot of time either in bed or in the hospital, and we never wanted to disturb her. Katie didn’t talk about it much. She tried to pretend like it wasn’t really happening. I wanted to be there for her, but I didn’t want to upset her either. I knew we would have to talk about it eventually. As ready as I thought I was, I was completely unprepared in the moment.
She’s only twelve, God. How is she supposed to make it through high school without a mom? Now she only has a dad and a big brother. Who will help her decide what outfit to wear on her first date? Who’s going to understand why it’s necessary to have a closet simply devoted to shoes?
That morning, Katie’s dad, Bob, called my mom, to let our family know that Katie’s mom had died in the middle of the night. I cried for hours after my parents sat me down to tell me the news. I wanted to call her, but I didn’t know what to say.
As I cried, my mom worked in the kitchen, preparing dinner for Katie’s family. When it was ready, she tapped on my door to see if I wanted to go with her to drop off the meal. I didn’t really want to, but I nodded in agreement anyway.
I didn’t say much in the car. Was it fair that I was coming to her house with my mom? Katie didn’t have one. I couldn’t imagine being in her position. Seriously, what would I do without my mom? I mean, my dad is great, but he wouldn’t be the same man without my mom either. Everything would change.
I could feel something was different as we rounded the familiar corner of Katie's neighborhood. The sight of a home I had been inside so many times was now giving me a knot in my stomach that I had never felt before. I didn’t want to face my best friend.
My mom rang the doorbell, and I took a deep breath. “Be strong for Katie, Michelle,” were my mom’s final instructions before Bob opened the door.
He looked tired and heartbroken, yet somewhat relieved and grateful at the same time. “Thank you so much, Mary Ruth,” he said. “Come on in.”
My mom walked through the door and motioned for me to follow. I took a deep breath and walked into the house. Bob called to Katie to let her know we were there, and I saw her appear from the hallway of her bedroom.
As always, Katie tried to act normal. We prided ourselves in not being like other girls. We knew about sports. We’d rather be outside. We weren’t overly emotional. And we certainly didn’t cry. I could tell that she hadn’t slept much, and I knew she had to be upset, but she made it obvious that she didn’t want to show it.
I wanted to cry. I wanted to throw my arms around Katie and tell her that it was okay to shed a few tears…or a lot. She had an excuse not to be tough.
“My mom made macaroni and cheese,” is what I said, forcing a smile out of her.
“Your favorite,” Katie said, forcing fake enthusiasm. We both knew that I hated every form of cheese with a passion – the sight, the smell, the texture, everything.
“Yeah,” I agreed, being sarcastic right back.
At that moment, we both looked at each other, and I couldn’t help it. I stopped pretending, and I hugged her. “I’m so sorry, Kate,” I said.
She didn’t say anything. She just stood there and hugged me, and I eventually felt her tears fall down my back. While Katie and I silently hugged and cried, my mom talked to Bob, telling him that Katie was welcome at our house anytime, and that we were available at all times if they needed anything.
We didn’t stay long. My mom knew they were exhausted and that Bob had a ton of preparations to make for the funeral. I cried again as I watched my mom tearfully hug Katie. “You know how much she loved you,” my mom finally managed to say. “And you know that I love you too.” Katie nodded and thanked her, and that was it. We walked out of what now seemed more like a house than a home.
As I walked down the stairs of their front porch, I heard a familiar voice inside my head. Michelle, do you trust Me?
Of course I trust you, God. You know that.
I know. But do you really trust Me?
The second time I heard the question, I didn’t answer. What does He mean, do I trust Him?
I snapped back to reality and watched my mom wipe tears from underneath her eyes as we drove back to our house. As I looked at her, I knew that God was going to change something. And it had to do with my mom.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Coffee-like Christianity


Each generation seems to earn a nickname from society. Our parents are part of the Baby Boomers (named after the big spike in birth rates after the Great Depression.) We make up Generation X. On one hand, Generation X is defined as lazy, unmotivated, and has difficulty paying attention. Gen X'ers are also noted as being the most technologically-savvy and majorly responsible for the Internet's growth and popularity.

So what's next? As we study time and history, we can make educated guesses about the future. So what will the next generation be known as? What is making a radical impact today that will influence tomorrow? Any guesses?

You got it. The Starbucks Generation. Face it. Starbucks is everywhere. In addition to being on almost every corner, you can find them in your local Super Target and pretty much every mall's Food Court. Starbucks has even found its way into stadiums, university libraries, and concert arenas. You can find the coffee beans in almost every grocery store.

So as the church, what are we doing to reach the Starbucks generation? Or what are we not doing to reach the Starbucks Generation? Unfortunately, I think many of the same complaints that you could hear at Starbucks, a non-Christian could also use to discuss Christians and our approach to sharing the gospel...

"I can't drink this. It's way too strong..."
"Are you sure this is coffee? This tastes way too weak..."
"Something's wrong with this coffee....it just tastes bitter..."

"My latte was supposed to be hot...but this is way too cold..."
Do we sometimes come on too strong and turn people away? Or do we remain too weak in our own flesh to reach out to someone who may be hurting? Do we focus too much on the problems in life and appear bitter on the outside rather than emphasizing the blessings God has given us and the sweetness that Jesus provides on the inside? And is being cool so much more important than showing we care to where we just end up coming off cold?
Over the next few posts, let's examine our hearts and see how we can prepare ourselves to get the Starbucks generation out of the coffee shop and into the church.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Hebrews 12:1-3










"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls." - Hebrews 12:1-3




















Tuesday, October 23, 2007

The Brick


Sometimes as a writer, you know when someone else's story conveys everything you need to say. I hope this unknown author's message speaks to you as loudly as it did to me...

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared . Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door!

He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?"

The young boy was apologetic. "Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do," He pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother, "he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up. "Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. "Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger.

Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home. It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message:

"Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!"

God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.

Monday, September 24, 2007

My Rescue

A young girl cries,
Because of the mirror’s lies.
What she sees with her eyes,
Is just part of Evil’s disguise.
Her beauty, he denies,
And manipulates her size,
Her waist, hips, arms, and theighs.
Every diet and exercise plan, she tries,
And each new weight loss pill, she buys.
For with his deception, she always complies,
Wishing to forever escape from the chastise,
Longing for a body she doesn’t despise.
It’s the world’s attention for which she vies,
Seeking approval with applause, titles, crowns, and guys.

To believers around her, her troubles are no surprise,
But she’s too scared to let any of them advise.
She saw them as enemies rather than allies.
Every destructive pattern noticed, she denies,
And every helping hand, she defies.
One by one, she seems to say her goodbyes,
Not with her words, but with actions, she implies.
By detecting her famine, she regards them as jealous spies,
Just waiting to steal her hard-earned will-power’s prize.

But there was one Friend who refused to downsize,
The Father of the earth, the moon, and the skies.
He saw her hurt, bore her pain, and heard her hunger sighs,
And waited for the perfect moment to Him to arise.
He knew with her life, only He could revive,
The great high King, most holy and wise.

After much struggle, she finally complies,
And with humble sobs, His grace, she applies,
For a healing plan, only God could devise.

For her tears, he dries,
And His strength, He supplies.
She lets His answers replace all her why’s,
With every new question, she submits to His replies.
The fat girl she used to see in the mirror eventually dies,
And in her Savior’s approval, she relies.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Diamond or Coal?


This blog especially goes out to one of my closest friends - a true diamond. Love you Gab. :)

Okay, let me start out by giving you a choice. If you could choose between a Tiffany's diamond pendant or a plain silver chain, which one would you choose? The DIAMOND, of course! I mean, hello! Everyone has a silver chain, but a diamond is special. A diamond is unique. A diamond is a treasure.
When I say diamond, you probably have visions of that rock of engagement ring that your super hot future husband will give you someday. But do you know how diamonds are formed? I mean, sure, they seem like they are in every jewelry store, but they are actually a very rare and precious stone. They are so rare because diamonds have to be formed in very specific conditions. Carbon (the stuff you breathe out) must withstand at least 435,113 pounds of pressure PURE INCH at a temperature of at least 752 degrees Fahrenheit. That's about the weight of fifteen 18-wheeler trucks, and at least 7 times hotter than a Chi flat iron! If there is any less pressure or any lower temperature, you just get graphite, a grade of coal.
So what does that mean for us? If you want to remain a treasure for your husband and for God, you have to withstand the INTENSE pressure and heat of being a female in today's world. No easy task -- just like the specific conditions of forming a diamond.
Think of something that a guy treasures -- like his car. By observing just a few things, I can tell how a guy values his car. If he drives it as hard as he can, as fast as he can, and pays no attention to the car's maintenance, the only work he did for the car was hold out his hand for his parents to give him the keys. However, the guy who meticulously washes his car twice a week, won't drive it when there's a chance of rain, and gets upset if someone puts fingerprints on the hood -- he probably had to work very hard to earn the money and the responsibility to have a car.
Here's the catch - a guy will treat you the same way! If you come onto him or make it easy on him, giving in to the heat of the moment or the pressure of the situation, he will ride you as hard and as fast and he can. But if he has to work for you and can see you withstand this world's heat and pressure, he will cherish you like the rare treasure that God created you to be.
So maybe you haven't met that guy yet. You will. But until then, all you have to do is just dig into God's word to know how much God values you. God's Word says that we are His people and His treasured possession (Deuteronomy 26:18). He knows how many hairs are on your head - plus how many are highlighted (Luke 12:7). He has every tear that you've ever cried collected in a bottle (Psalm 56:8). You were feafully and wonderfully created when He wove you together in your mother's womb (Psalm 113:13-14). You were created for a specific purpose, and He has a plan just for you (Jeremiah 29:11), And even when you don't know exactly what is going on in life...maybe it feels like your whole world is falling apart. But even through those moments, God is working for your good (Romans 8:28). Withstand the pressure. Take the heat. Be His treasure.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Don't believe everything you read...

So I came across this list the other day of things girls should do for guys....some of them are right. Some of them are wrong. Some of them just need to be adjusted. So I've included the orignal list along with my corrections in bold.

1 As much as you want to talk about past relationships, keep it to a minimum, unless he asks. You don't want him to feel like he's in competition with anyone. However, there is a fine line here with honesty. If you can't be open about your past and things that have hurt you, etc., it won't be much of a relationship. So while you shouldn't talk incessantly about an ex-boyfriend. never neglect to be honest.
2 Every guy has a 'geeky' side of him. Whether it be video games, DVD, WoW, anime, football among other sports, or whatever. Don't make fun of him if you don't like it, either tolerate it, or learn to like it. DO NOT try to change him. If he's constantly ignoring you for that hobby of his, tell him. It's about compromise - chances are you can drag him around a mall later. But be sure there's a balance in the relationship so you are both getting to do things yoiu enjoy.
3 When you hug the boy, hold tight. It doesn't hurt to rest your head on him either. But there are always other ways of showing affection rather than just physical ways...
4 Compromise for movies. Watch his favorite movies and he'll give in for the movie you want to see. Just get really good at shutting your eyes during the war scenes. Welcome to my life.
5 Sometimes pay for the date! I know guys hate this, but if he takes you out constantly, it's more than likely he's going to be poor! Treat him sometime. Even if you just buy the snacks! Plus, you don't have to spend money to have a good time. And double dates with your parents are great ways to go out, save money, and make them happy too!
6 Hold his hand!! Even in the mall when you have a ton of bags, hold his hand. If you're at the mall and have a ton of bags, he should be carrying them. End of story.
7 Don't run away from his favorite stores, if you don't like them! Watch him. Gift ideas!! It's obvious a guy wrote this list. Girls don't run from stores. Period.
8 Any time your guy gives you a compliment, don't just roll your eyes. He means it, and you should smile and say thank you. I know it's hard, girls, but your guy really does care about you. If you respond this way and then get mad at him when he doesn't compliment you anymore, it's no wonder! Quit rejecting the poor guy's efforts to make you feel special!
9 Guys are pressured to take the relationship to a "deeper level". Stupid society. Anyway, if you dont want that in a relationship, tell him before things get too complicated! You can compromise too. If you are uncomfortable with something, STOP. Wow. I don't even know where to start with this one. THROW IT OUT. NEVER compromise. And if you don't want a real relationship, you shouldn't be dating in the first place.
10 “Fine" or “whatever" is not an appropriate ending to a conversation. Only makes matters worse. True. He's not a mind-reader. Tell him what's going on in a mature way, and never go to bed angry.
11 Life isn't a drama or a movie. This is real life, people. They don't often come with a sword, armor, and a white steed. That still doesn't give him an excuse to not treat you like a princess.
12 NEVER EVER kick them in the place below the belt. Even in a fight or argument, just don't do it. Hopefully, most girls wouldn't respond with physical violence, but just in case we need to go there - violence isn't the answer.
13 TRUST HIM. Don't scream when he looks at another girl. We know you were goggling at the cute guy that just passed. It's nature. Don't dig through his phonebook, and hey, guys can have female friends just like girls can have male friends. If this makes things awkward, talk about it. The Bible says that if you look at someone with lust, then you have committed adultry of the heart. This shouldn't be dismissed as "everyone does it, so it's okay." Pray for each other.
14 This should go without saying. Love him for who he is! Don't worry about what others think. Don't try to change him into what's cool and hip. Some compromises can be made, and tell him that if he ever has a problem you changing him, to tell you. But you can always encourage and build one another up to be better and grow closer to God. You should be constantly changing as you grow in Christ because you are a new creation in Him.
15 In an argument, just because society stereotypes women as being smarter, more mature, and men as dumb and immature, doesn't mean you are always right. No, no one is right all of the time. That's why you should always seek God's guidance and direction rather than man's (or woman's.)
16 Listen to him. Even if it's something you don't want to hear. Good communication is key. Yes, you should listen to him. But until you get married, your first authority is to your God and your second authority is your dad. If he is disobedient to one of those, don't listen to him.
17 Cook. It may sound stereotypical, but a lot of guys like having a meal cooked for them. A lot of it is the thought, but if you truly are terrible, then maybe this isn't one you should try. If you know how to cook, maybe teach him, or you both can learn together. Finally. One that doesn't need to be touched.
18 Sing. Many girls underestimate how well they sing. You don't have to be able to sing 10 octaves or whatever. Don't be embarrassed to sing in front of a guy, just let yourself go a bit and have some fun. This is true. Never neglect to be yourself.
19 A girl has the right to show off her body, but keep your pride and dignity. Be careful! If you show off too much, guys (and just people in general) may get the wrong message and make assumptions. I can't "amen" this one enough! Girls, if it's not for sale, don't advertise.
20 Just like girls want girl time, guys want guy time. Giving your guy space to hang with his friends is not only fair, but it shows you trust him in a way. Friendship is very important, especially fellowship with other believers. And just a side note, if you think that you can't trust his friends, then you probably can't trust him either.
21 Respect the guy for who he is, not because he earns your respect. Guys relate to each other on a respect level, and if you want him to open up to you, he has to know that you don't look down on him. Umm, wrong? Respect has to be earned. Sorry, guys. It's not that easy.
22 Let your guy take pictures of you. He may not admit it, but that picture will probably be with him always. Even if you think it looks horrible. As long as the picture is one you would show your parents, yes..
23 Don't always expect the guy to be the one to call. It is okay to call your boyfriend on occasion, and it shows him that you care about him and are thinking about him. And don't get upset if for some reason he doesn't have time to talk. He does have a life. If he's your boyfriend, you can call, but NEVER call a guy first before you're dating. Let him be the man and do his job. And guys, you may "have a life" but if she needs you, take the time.
24 Remind him that you appreciate all the sweet little things he does for you. Let him know it's not all in vain. True.
25 If a guy uses a key to let you into his car, reach over and open the door before he gets to it. I know this may be common sense to most girls, but you know, some do not do this. It's a tiny little action that can make a guy go "hey, she's considerate." Wow. This list was made before the magic unlock remote.
26 Let the guy open the door for you or do any other chivalric action. He's fulfilling your wish for a gentleman, don't deny him the chance to do something nice for you. Thank him! You are doing all these wonderful things for him, let him return the favor. YES! Being a gentlemen is never out of style. Yes, sure, you can do anything a man can do - but that doesn't mean that you have to.
27 Communicate with him. Tell him directly what's on your mind. You can always hope that he'll get your subtle hints or body language, but if it's important, you're better off using words. Yes. God is the only man that can read your mind.
28 Sometimes you have to take the initiative. Don't always wait for him to come to you, because if that's how it always is, you're going to lose him. Disagree. He's the man. Let him be the leader.
29 If they buy you jewelry, wear it around them, even if you don't like it. They will appreciate it, because it's the thought that counts. Not much jewelry that we wouldn't like....
30 A word of appreciation now and then regarding his protective/kind/chivalrousattitude will go miles toward the end. You won't regret it. That's been in here like 3 times already. Must be important. Be gracious. If you expect him to act like a gentleman, respond like a lady.
31 When you are talking to a guy you are interested in, lean in, touch his arm or hand, while your talking. physical touch communicates interest and value. Physical relationships are always difficult until marriage. Draw boundaries and stick to them. And don't just think that you have to run to that line and hang out there every time. Realize that until you get married, your kisses are all you have. Be stingy with them.
32 Whether it's from across the room or while your talking let him know that you are only interested in what he has to say, so look into his eyes and smile. Show him the same consideration that you want him to show to you.
33 Never judge him based on his friends. They may give some insight, but sometimes guys as well as girls can befriend people that are completely opposite of themselves because they like the change. Don't let who he hangs around with be the deciding factor of your judgments about him. Get to know him. False. Who you hang around says a lot about you. If you don't like his friends, it won't last. Don't bother.
34 Cute is what he is when he does something goofy, not how you should compliment his looks. Tell him he looks handsome... or any other word you'd use to describe James Bond. Just like you wouldn't want him to tell you that you look tough.... remember your audience. Even if you would take it as a compliment, that doesn't mean that he will!
35 Let him know you're on his side and that you support him and believe in him. Encouragement - all the way.
36 Call him instead of IMing or e-mail. Let him talk to you and hear your voice. Note: sometimes, it can't be helped. long distance relationships are sometimes forced to use AIM. In this case, use a camera!! You can see him and hear him. Typing is great, but a lot can get lost and mis-communicated. You'll save a lot of drama if you will only use texting or e-mail as a last resort.
37 Write him letters! If you want to tell him something but just can't come up with the words in person, take the time to write them down. He'll appreciate it because he can read word for word how you feel for him over and over again, and you know he won't forget it. There are some romantic gestures that will never go out of style...
38 Girls should do little things for guys. If they ask for a drink, just get it for them cuz they don't ask often. Or surprise them with little gifts (even if homemade) it ll show them that you care about them and thought about them during the day, even if they don't admit it, they like it as much as we do. Yeah, you shouldn't be his slave, but there's nothing wrong with having a servant's heart. Don't be insulted and get caught up in being a crazy feminist if he asks you to do something for him. If he's a good one, he does things for you too. No relationship should be one-sided. And the little things DO matter.
39 DON'T CHEAT ON HIM! IT'S NEVER WORTH IT! He WILL find out one way or another and odds are, you guys are through. Whether you were already split up or still dating... you'll be lucky if he still wants to be your friend! Doesn't that pretty much go without saying? But just in case you thought cheating on your boyfriend would help your relationship, it won't. And if you thought that, you're not ready to date.
40 Forgive him. Not hundreds of times for the same mistakes, but relationships are going to have problems and there will be apologies on both sides... Forgiveness is a huge part of a relationship. You may not always want to do it, and he will definitely not always deserve it, but then again, we don't necessarily always deserve forgiveness either...If you know that you and the one you are with should end the relationship, have the integrity and respect to tell them that the relationship is over. Do not just leave and never speak to them again. People are not perfect - no one is. So forgive and don't harbor bitterness, but also don't allow yourself to be emotionally abused. Guard your heart and lean on Christ. You will eventually find a man who is following Christ, and you can hop in line.

Saturday, June 2, 2007

3 Word Phrases Women LOVE to Hear


So there's always a lot of hype about that three-word phrase that women love to hear...you know... "I love you." But you might want to pass off this Top 10 to the men in your life...tell them they can try these 3-word phrases to add some variety if they've had enough of the "mushy stuff."

1. YOU WERE RIGHT.
Yes, we know that we're right. But that doesn't change the fact that we want to know that you know that we are right!
2. I WAS WRONG.
Again, many times, stating the obvious....BUT by saying that you are wrong makes us realize that you are smart! Better to be wrong and smart than wrong AND dumb!

3. I AM SORRY.
Okay, this is the 3-word phrase that follows the above two. I was right, yes. You were wrong, yes. Meaning, you shouldn't have done it, so you should APOLOGIZE. Again, a smart decision.

4. LET’S EAT OUT.
You have just eliminated the stress of "How in the world am I going to go into the kitchen and make something that he won't think is "girl food" (aka rabbit food, or anything that resembles vegetables) and I don't have to question if it can still "moo" or "oink." Meaning, we will have more time and energy to spend with you. Totally worth the cash.

5. YOU LOOK THINNER.
It doesn't matter if we are trying to lose weight or not. This will make self esteem SOAR. Seriously. Just try it.

6. I’LL CLEAN UP.
In the event that we cook or work on a project for you, or whatever, one of the most annoying things is immediately going back to work. This is a way to SHOW the "I love you" that you dread saying.

7. LET’S JUST CUDDLE.
Seriously. That's just adorable.

8. WHICH CHORE FIRST?
And after we come back from a paralyzed state of shock, you won't believe the smiles and hugs that you will get for the rest of the day.

9. TAKE YOUR TIME.
Give us the time we need to get ready, and don't make us feel rushed. It will be worth your wait. Promise.

And the last one really needs a drumroll.......

10. BUY THEM BOTH.
Sometimes, we seriously can't decide. And we really want both...but that is too much to ask. But if you give us PERMISSION to get both, then we don't feel so bad. I mean, it's not something you neccessarily HAVE to do everytime, but you're not going to be hurting if you do...

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Female Definitions




1.) FINE


This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right, and you need to shut up.


2.) FIVE MINUTES


If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.


3.) NOTHING


This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine." (Refer to #1 for a reminder.)


.4.) GO AHEAD


This is a dare, not permission. DON'T DO IT!


5.) LOUD SIGH


This is not actually a word but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about "nothing." (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)


6.) THAT'S OKAY.


This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. Be afraid. Be very afraid.


7.) THANKS.


A woman is thanking you - do not question or faint. The response "You're welcome" is appropriate and expected.


8.) WHATEVER.


Is a women's way of saying "I'm right, and I don't have time for you to be wrong any longer."


9.) DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT; I GOT IT.


Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. ( This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong" - for the woman's response refer to #3.)


Thanks to Ashlee Garner for passing along this funny (and mostly true) list.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

"But Jesus always hung out with sinners!"

If you've ever called anyone out on the fact that they are hanging around people they shouldn't be hanging out with, those who are "super spiritual" will shoot back with the argument that Jesus always hung out with sinners. In fact, Jesus was known to hang out with the tax collectors, who were considered to be some of the most dishonest and deceptive people of his day. He did - you can see it in Matthew 9:11;11:19, Luke 5:30; 7:24, and 15:12, and Mark 2:16. So they take the "Jesus did it, so I can too" approach. But let's take a minute to look at Christ's motive for investing His time in sinful people.

The Pharisees asked Jesus why he ate with godless sinners. Jesus responded in Luke 5:31-32, "It is not those who are well who need a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but to call sinners to repentance." Basically, he said, "Duh! Because I want to gospel with them so they will ask for forgiveness of their sins and be saved!" Now, keep in mind that Jesus hated sin and worldly lifestyles, but he put up with man's sinfulness in hopes that they would turn from their evil ways. So ask yourself what your motivation is for hanging out with sinful people. Do you enjoy their worldly lifestyle and their company? Or is your sole purpose in being their friend to bring them to knowledge of salvation through Jesus?

Ready for the protest you'll get next? "Well, what do you expect me to do - hide in a corner and never talk to anyone who is not a Christian?!" Lucky for us, Paul answered this very question in I Corinthians 5:9-13: "I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people; I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world, or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters, for then you would have to go out of the world. But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so–called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler — not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church?"

Many will interpret this passage to mean that we can have close relationships with ungodly people...but that's not what Paul is saying at all! He's being realistic. We live in the world, and we can't take ourselves out if it...but we are to take those who are worldly out of the church. So yes...you will have contact with unbelievers. You will talk to them, you will work with them, you will go to school with them...but we are called to be set apart.

In II Corinthians 6:14-17, Paul writes again, "Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said, “I will dwell in them and walk among them; And I will be their God, and they shall be My people. Therefore, come out from their midst and be separate,” says the Lord. “And do not touch what is unclean; And I will welcome you.”

So the bottom line is that we are going to come in contact with unbelievers, but we have to decide how we are going to handle that problem before we are put in a bad situation. Read I Corinthians 15:33-34. Paul gives us three instructions in how to react when associating with an unbeliever. He tells us:

1) Do not be deceived. Do not let anything lure you away from the truth that can only be found in God's Word.

2) Become sober-minded. Don't lie to yourself that there is no danger in spending great amounts of time with unbelievers. Force yourself to think clearly.

3) Stop sinning. Sounds easy enough, right? WRONG! But it definately gives us something to work towards.

So ask yourself a few questions. Do you keep bad company? Do you have close relationships with people who do not acknowledge your God? Read the Word of God, and do what it says. Do not be deceived, become sober-minded, and stop sinning.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Jesus Tells You Who to be Friends With


I Corinthians 15:33 - "Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals."



Okay, before we dig into what this verse clearly says, let's look at what Paul is talking about through the entire chapter. He's talking about Christ's resurrection - the importance of it, what happens if you don't believe in it, how it happened, what our ressurected bodies will look like in heaven, and how it relates to when Jesus comes back one day. So why in the world in the middle of all that does he warn us that our good morals will be corrupted by bad company?

Well, the reason why Paul had to write all of that stuff was because the Christians during that day were being influenced by the thoughts of the Greek. The Greeks believed that there was no ressurection. So if there is no ressurection, then there's no judgement after death, no accounting before God, and no payment of our sins...leaving those who have ever sinned as condemned to hell rather than saved by Jesus for admittance to heaven. Those are some pretty serious consequences. Paul was warning those who were listening to the Greeks and confusing Christ's message in their mind of the dangers of listening to the wrong people.

Have your parents ever warned you about one of your friends? Maybe they've told you to be cautious around her. Maybe they wouldn't let you go over to her house. They might have even told you not to hang out with her. Did you ever respond to their objections of your friendship with the retort, "You CAN'T tell me who to be friends with!" Well...technically, they're your parents, and they can. But even if they couldn't, Jesus can. And He did. Just look at I Corinthians 15:33 above.


My teenage years in middle school were really the first years that I made my own social circle that didn't revolve around my parents. Growing up, my parents were ALWAYS around. My dad was a minister at my church until I graduated college, and my mom was a teacher at my school until the sixth grade. It was that first year of middle school that my primary social circle didn't somehow include someone in my family. I've heard it said that relatives are the family you're born with, and your friends are the family you get to choose. This is exactly true. Because whether you realize it or not, your friends influence and shape who you are just by being around them.

Now, before we get too far ahead, let me make sure you understand what a friend is and who I am really talking about. Your friends are more than just acquaintances. For example, an aquaintance might be someone that you talk to in math class everyday, but a friend is someone you talk to on the phone everyday. An aquaintance would be someone that you would invite to a party at your house, but a friend is someone who is there to help you set up for the party and help with the dishes after the party is over. Make sense?

We're girls. We love our friends. We love to spend a lot of time with our friends. So what happens when you become best friends with someone and you become inseperable? You begin to talk alike, act alike, people call you by one another's names, etc. A few times in my life, I've even been told that my best friend and I were starting to look alike!

But what happens if I hang around someone who makes bad decisions or someone who doesn't hold the same morals and values as me? Think I will change? Absolutely. Don't let yourself be fooled with the idea, "Oh, I won't get into that. It won't happen to me." Your friends reflect who you are and help determine the person you become. Choose friends who share your family values and the way you think. To illustrate my point, get a friend or a family member to help you. Stand in a chair while whoever you're with stands on the floor. Grab their hand and try to pull them up on the chair with you. WHEN you give up (because you will), switch roles. Ask them to pull you down to stand on the floor with them. How quickly did they do it? Your friends are the same way. It's much, much harder to pull your friends into a higher moral standard than it is for them to bring you down to their low level of integrity.

Now, I am not saying that you should choose to be friends with someone who is EXACTLY like you. You can have friends with different personality traits from you, but make sure the qualities they have will lead you to positive growth. Choose friends that will have a good influence on you. If you wish you were more focused, choose a friend who is determined. If you want to learn to control your temper, choose a friend who is slow to anger. These are the kinds of friends that will show you new ways to approach life and how to overcome problems when they come your way. There's nothing wrong with good habits rubbing off on you!

"But Jesus hung out with sinners and tax collectors!" Yes, he did...to share the gospel with them and to share the gospel with them only. We'll look more at that tomorrow...

Esther 4:14b

"And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"