The List

The List
By: Michelle (soon-to-be) Myers







Princess Michelle went about every day,
Making time to create, read, and play..
She had wonderful parents to guide her way,
Who promised her God would never lead her astray.
At a young age, her wise father asked her to obey:
“You need a prince, and for him, you must pray.”

And so for once, young Michelle did as she was told,
And imagined how the rest of her life would unfold.
She took out some paper and started a list,
Of qualities in that man who somewhere did exist.
After a few minutes of thought and debate,
She began to pray for her future mate.

“God, make him nice, funny, and sweet.
Make him really strong, except in racing; make him easy to beat.
Help him to love dogs, ice cream, and You.
Make his words kind, gentle, and true.”

Michelle got older and started junior high,
She never had a boyfriend, and her friends wondered why.
“They’re not him,” she told them, yet she couldn’t convince,
That waiting was worth it, to someday have her prince.
One day she sat down and examined her list,
And realized there were a few traits she had missed.

“God, make him smart, and anything but shy,
Have him know to just hold me if I start to cry.
From up there, can you see anyone who’s a lot like my dad?
You know what a great example of a Christian man I’ve had.”

Time went on, and Michelle began to date,
Even though something inside her still wanted to wait.
They weren’t quite frogs, but nothing more than a friend.
When it came to the list, none could contend.
As high school ended, Michelle again reached for pen,
It was time to add more to that list again.

“God, help him to respect me and all my dreams,
And you know me and sports; can we please like the same teams?
He doesn’t have to be rich, I know love can’t be bought,
And I know this is shallow…but can you please make him hot?

So college started, and new boys came around,
But the boy on her list, she never found.
She gave up on the dating scene and focused on her,
The next three years were quite a blur.

Michelle finally gave in and believed all the lies,
Her prince didn’t exist; they were all just guys.
She drifted further away from the girl she’d always been,
And decided life would be better if she was just thin.

She began to feel unlovable, ugly, and plain,
Her family begged her to eat and for her body to sustain,
But Michelle wouldn’t listen,
She knew being skinny would return her glisten.

Then one day, God opened her eyes,
And He assured her that her husband list was quite wise.
“Obey Me, and follow My plan,”
God said, “And in My time, you will meet your man.”

God’s voice continued to speak after her spiritual rebirth,
“Go to Southwestern Seminary, the one in Fort Worth.”
Michelle decided to take that leap of faith and commit,
She had learned with God, it was best to submit.
She opened her desk to begin packing her supplies,
And as she came across her list, she had a few things to revise.

“God, help him to forgive me for all that I’ve done,
Make his life passion be serving Your Son.
Bring him to me either at school or at church,
I’m so tired of games, and I don’t want to search.
Please don’t let him think any girls are prettier than me,
And I know I’m headed to Texas, but please make him from Tennessee!”

Three weeks later, while on her new job,
Michelle saw a boy that by seminary standards, was a slob.
In an LSU t-shirt, shorts, and a hat,
Her urge to look a third time, she had to combat.

He finally approached her, and he did it all wrong,
But in no time at all, she found where her prince had been all along.
A gorgeous athlete from west Tennessee,
Who chased Jesus alone, by his own decree.

Their first date, they both knew right then,
They were going to be married; they just didn’t know when.
Months later, out of curiosity’s sake,
Michelle pulled out her list to see if she’d made a mistake.

As she carefully read over it, a tear fell down her cheek,
How could she have found someone so unique?
He met every quality, exceeding every one,
Michelle suddenly realized, her list was almost done.

“God, thank You for giving me this man by my side.
Please give me all that I need to be his bride.
Help him to always challenge me and tell me when I’m wrong,
Help me to let my guard down and not try to be so strong.

Thank you for making him so genuine and real,
Being in his arms every time is surreal.
He’s not everything I asked for, he’s better and he’s more,
Life is sure to never be a bore.”

“God, even though he is gorgeous, that’s not what stands out,
I see how much he loves You and serves You so devout,
I’ve always wondered how I just knew,
That he was the one, I just knew it was true.
But now I see that when I look at him, I recognize the view,
Because each time I’m around him, it’s like I’m with You.”

So Michelle smiled to herself and completed her list,
And as folded it shut, the cover she kissed.
For the cover, once empty, now boldly proclaims,
“The Characteristics I Want in My Husband: James.”

For James
Christmas 2007
I love you.

For James
Merry Christmas, baby.
I love you.

One more reason you shouldn't fall in love...

Last week, we talked about why you should BUILD on love instead of falling in love. James and I were discussing this very topic when he made a brilliant statement. He said, "You know what else? If you don't fall IN love, you can't fall OUT of love." How did I miss that?!

Here are some statistics that might surprise you. The Barna Research group did a study a few years back on divorce, and here is what they found: 11% of the adult population is currently divorced. 25% of adults have had at least one divorce during their lifetime. Between 41-43% of married couples today will eventually get divorced. Surprised yet? If you're not, here is one that I bet will get you...

*Divorce rates among conservative Christians were significently higher ,than for other faith groups, including atheists (people who don't believe God exists)
and agnostics (people who don't think we will ever know in this life if there is a God or not).*

Talk about a wake-up call! People who don't even believe that God exists are less likely to get divorced than God's children. That's why we have to be especially careful in our romantic relationships. Satan attacks wherever He can, and right now, it appears he is calling for war on the Christian family.

But remember how we talked about building your relationship on God (who is love) instead? Well, in the same way if you can fall OUT of love after you fall IN love, what happens if you build IN love?

Think about the following statements... The house is built out of bricks. The table is built out of marble. The shelves are built out of wood. The relationship is built out of love. Yeah, I saw your lightbulb go off. Mine did too.

Any way you slice it, you get the same result. Whether you build in love, build on love, or build out of love, you get a solid foundation on Christ that lasts and will protect your future marriage from Satan's grasp.

One of my favorite professors advised me, "If you are looking for a mate, stop. Run after God as fast as you can. As you're running, continually look to your left and your right to see who's running beside you. When you find someone who is consistently running your pace, grab their hand, and chase after God together. Nothing can break that stride."

Take a minute and say a prayer for your future husband. You can even write him a letter (which He will LOVE to read someday) about how you are building your relationship on God's love so that the two of you can chase after Christ together.

On your mark....get set....GO! :)

Ephesians 2:19-22

"So then you are no longer strangers and alients, but you are fellow citizens with the saints, and are of God's household, having been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus Himself being the corner stone, in whom the whole building, being fitted together, is growing into a holy temple in the Lord, in whom you are also being built together into a dwelling of God in the Spirit."

Since when does a fairytale have to have a rock?

You can find the world's biggest rock in Australia. Mount Augustus stands 2,815 feet above the surounding plain, 3,625 feet above sea level and covers 29,794,749 miles. Umm...that's a pretty big rock. Think you could move it? Shake it? Break it? Doubtful. (And if you can, I'm really thankful that there are computer screens between us!)

So imagine the God of the universe as a Rock. From what I can gather, His idea of a rock is something like, ya know, MARS. So compared to Him, I'm thinking Mount Augustus is not even a pebble. I wouldn't dream of trying to move that Rock.

So... let's recap what we have so far. It's dumb to have a weak foundation like Mr. Dude and his sand because his house fell the first time the wind blew. Instead, we should build our house on a rock with Mr. Right, so no matter what happens, the house will remain standing.

Relationships should be the same way. Instead of basing our relationship on a foundation of superficial things that can easily crumble, our relationship should be based on God, the only thing in this life that is unchanging and unmovable.

Okay, Michelle. I'm totally confused. I mean, where does the love part come in? If I trade falling in love for building on God, isn't something still missing?

Depends on how you define love. 1 John 4:8 says, "He who does not love does not know God, for God is love." So we don't fall in love. We BUILD on love. A lasting romantic relationship is not between two people, but three: God the Rock, Mr. Right, and you.

So you can start your relationship with your future husband RIGHT NOW by falling in love with God and and building your relationship on a rock. And you will live happily ever after.

Psalm 16:8

"I have set the LORD always before me;

Because He is at my right hand,

I shall not be moved."

Falling vs. Building

I remember the first time I ever heard this parable that Jesus taught of the wise man who built his house upon a rock and the foolish man who built his house on the sand. In all of my six-year-old wisdom, I came home from church and told my mom that we studied The Three Little Pigs in Sunday School...but the preacher must have gone too long in big church because my teacher had to leave out one of the pigs..

Since we talked about falling yesterday, let's look about what was wrong with the foolish man's house. I can just picture this dingy surfer dude getting the bright idea that He could construct his crib on the sand - loose fine pieces of rock that are unstable, change with the tide, and can be blown away with a light breeze. Bright idea, dude.

But do we do the same thing if we fall in love? Is that relationship built on things that are unstable, like how AMAZING their blue eyes (or tinted contacts) are? Or things that can change, like emotion? (You know you've heard the excuse, "The magic's just not there anymore.") If a relationship is not build on a firm foundation, commitment can be shifted as easily as sand.

Enter Prince Charming. He's got it all together - he's prepared and has a plan AND a purpose. It is not an uption for his house (aka, the relationship in our case) to fall. He's a builder.

Yesterday, we looked at 10 things we associate with falling. Let's take a minute and think about building.

1) To join parts to create something better (i.e. turning buttons and material into a new jacket!)
2) To establish or strengthen (like building a business)
3) To base or found (such as building a relationship on trust)
4) To increase in intensity (You know how Kelly Clarkson songs always builds on the 3rd verse)
5) To praise or compliment (Like when your best friend builds you up to give you the courage to go talk to that really cute guy in your English class.)

So the wise man is buiding something that is stronger and better than before. In a storm with heavy floods and harsh winds, his house remains secure.

Sounds like Prince Charming has the potential to be Mr. Right, while our gnarly surfer dude has missed his chance of even being Mr. Right NOW.

But what exactly is a rock that a relationship should be built on? Stay tuned...

Isaiah 26:4

"Trust in the Lord forever, for in God the Lord,

we have an everlasting Rock."

"But...I just want to FALL in love! Right?"

Even in the days when most boys were gross, I still wanted to fall in love. Between Prince Eric of The Little Mermaid to Randy on Home Improvement and Zach on Saved by the Bell, I knew my Prince Charming had to be out there somewhere. I remember dreaming of the day when I would meet him and how we would fall in love. You know, he would come in riding on a white horse, save the day (and me, of course), and we would live happily ever after. Yep. Falling in love is the way to go. Or is it?

But just for a minute, let's think about the things we associate with falling...
1) Descending to a lower place (what happens when you trip over that pile of clothes in your bedroom...)
2) Pain (...and what you experience if your knee lands on something sharp in the middle of the pile)
3) Losing control/balance (Hey, nobody said walking in heels was easy!)
4) Lack of support (Have you seen how SKINNY stilettos are?!)
5) To be overthrown (like a city under attack)
6) Losing animation in expression (You know...when your smile disappears if you get bad news)
7) Embarassment (Especially if you've ever fallen UP the stairs - it takes talent.)
8) Disagreeing to the point of ending a relationship (Ever had a "falling out" with your so-called BFF?)
9) To come to nothing (like when your plans fall through)
10) Something that is deficient or lacking (Falling short of what is expected of you)

Do you still want to FALL in love? I know I don't. None of those things sound like much fun to me.

But Michelle, don't you want to get married and experience the romance that God intended for us? Of course I do! I rush out to buy the latest Nicholas Sparks book the day it comes out and watch chick flicks like anyone. But God hasn't taught us anywhere to FALL in love.

Read the following passage and ask God to speak to you. Tomorow, we'll discuss what God teaches us about love.

Matthew 7:24-27

“Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock; and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock. But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall.”