3 Word Phrases Women LOVE to Hear

So there's always a lot of hype about that three-word phrase that women love to hear...you know... "I love you." But you might want to pass off this Top 10 to the men in your life...tell them they can try these 3-word phrases to add some variety if they've had enough of the "mushy stuff."

1. YOU WERE RIGHT.

Yes, we know that we're right. But that doesn't change the fact that we want to know that you know that we are right!

2. I WAS WRONG.

Again, many times, stating the obvious....BUT by saying that you are wrong makes us realize that you are smart! Better to be wrong and smart than wrong AND dumb!

3. I AM SORRY.

Okay, this is the 3-word phrase that follows the above two. I was right, yes. You were wrong, yes. Meaning, you shouldn't have done it, so you should APOLOGIZE. Again, a smart decision.

4. LET’S EAT OUT.

You have just eliminated the stress of "How in the world am I going to go into the kitchen and make something that he won't think is "girl food" (aka rabbit food, or anything that resembles vegetables) and I don't have to question if it can still "moo" or "oink." Meaning, we will have more time and energy to spend with you. Totally worth the cash.

5. YOU LOOK THINNER.

It doesn't matter if we are trying to lose weight or not. This will make self esteem SOAR. Seriously. Just try it.

6. I’LL CLEAN UP.

In the event that we cook or work on a project for you, or whatever, one of the most annoying things is immediately going back to work. This is a way to SHOW the "I love you" that you dread saying.

7. LET’S JUST CUDDLE.

Seriously. That's just adorable.

8. WHICH CHORE FIRST?
And after we come back from a paralyzed state of shock, you won't believe the smiles and hugs that you will get for the rest of the day.

9. TAKE YOUR TIME.
Give us the time we need to get ready, and don't make us feel rushed. It will be worth your wait. Promise.

And the last one really needs a drumroll.......

10. BUY THEM BOTH.
Sometimes, we seriously can't decide. And we really want both...but that is too much to ask. But if you give us PERMISSION to get both, then we don't feel so bad. I mean, it's not something you neccessarily HAVE to do everytime, but you're not going to be hurting if you do...

Female Definitions

1.) FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right, and you need to shut up.

2.) FIVE MINUTES

If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) NOTHING

This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine." (Refer to #1 for a reminder.)

.4.) GO AHEAD

This is a dare, not permission. DON'T DO IT!

5.) LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about "nothing." (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) THAT'S OKAY.

This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

7.) THANKS.

A woman is thanking you - do not question or faint. The response "You're welcome" is appropriate and expected.

8.) WHATEVER.

Is a women's way of saying "I'm right, and I don't have time for you to be wrong any longer."

9.) DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT; I GOT IT.

Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. ( This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong" - for the woman's response refer to #3.)

Thanks to Ashlee Garner for passing along this funny (and mostly true) list.

*NEW* Classes for Women

I love to laugh. I love things that make me laugh, I love to make others laugh - to me, laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds. I'm also a firm believer that God loves to laugh too - He has certainly done some things in my life that are worth laughing about! Praise the Lord that we serve a joyful God who loves to see His children laugh and enjoy life!

I came across this list of "continuing education" classes for women and couldn't help but laugh. Life is too short to take everything seriously, so have some fun with this list! I know there are at least 10 on here that I would be elgible for! (I've starred those for your enjoyment!)

* Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before

The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits

* Parties: Going Without New Outfits

Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game

Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.

* Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking

Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging

Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire

Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up

Introduction to Parking

* Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space

Water Retention: Fact or Fat

Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter

* Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption

Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People

* Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully

* Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To

* Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have

* Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice

Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together

* Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both

TV Remotes: For Men Only

Psalm 126:2-3

"Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing. Then they said among the nations, “The LORD has done great things for them.” The LORD has done great things for us, and we are glad."

March Madness

It's finally the time of year when I can get excited about college basketball. I know, it's been going on for forever now, but THIS is when it gets fun...because I get to personally get in on the competition. By creating a bracket, I somehow get to share in the victory of the teams that I select to win. Now, I don't place bets with any money behind it, but bragging rights are always a little fun. :)





Now before you start thinking that I don't know anything about basketball, I want to remind you that I'm part of the Grits (Girls Raised In the South). There are a few things we take seriously, and sports is definately one of them. Deborah Ford has written a book (that no southern girl should be without) called The Grits Guide to Life. Jokingly, she has the chapter on sports right after the chapter on relgion, and the title of the chapter is, "Southern Religion, Part II." Check out a story from that chapter from Barbara Dooley, Georgia Grits, that will more than likely make you laugh...but might also make you think.





When you have a lot of children, and we had four, you get worn slap out. By the time the last baby arrives, you just let them do just about whatever they want. We had a rule that our first son, Daniel, could not go to the sidelines with his father, who was the head coach at the University of Georgia at the time, until he was ten years old. Our youngest son, Derek, got this chance a lot sooner.


When Derek was five, Georgia played our biggest in-state rival, Georgia Tech, in Atlanta on Thanksgiving night. We spent Thanksgiving without the coach, then drove to Atlanta for the game. When we got to the game, Derek immediately asked his father if he could sit on the sidelines. Feeling guilty about Thanksgiving, Vince compromised and told him that if we were beating Tech by a large score at the end of the third quarter he could get down on the sidelines. There were two rules: he could not get near the team, and he could not get near Dad! At family prayers, Derek prayed, "...and Jesus please let us be beating Tech by a big enough score that I can get to the sidelines."


At the end of the third quarter, the score was 42-0, and I thought that was a reasonable lead to take him down to the sidelines. By the time we got to the fence, Tech had scored and it was 42-7. By the time I got him over the fence, it was 42-14. By the time I got back to my seat, it was 42-21 and Derek Dooley was pulling on his dad's pants leg.


That night in the hotel, we put the children down in their room and turned out the lights. We went to our adjoining room and Vince turned out the light, I knew, womanly instinct, that something major was about to be said. I just laid there as still as I could, waiting. Finally, he said, "Barbara, the strangest thing happened tonight on the sideline. Tech had the ball going down the field to score and Derek was pulling on my pants leg. I pushed im away, anything to get him to turn loose of my pants leg. Finally, when Tech scored, I looked down and said, "Derek, what do you want?" I was ready for anything except for what he said. He looked up at me with his big brown eyes and said, "Daddy, don't worry about a thing. Jesus is just having a little fun."





I love that story! I can just picture it...priceless. But seriously, isn't that great wisdom from a 5 year old? No matter what is going on in your life, no matter what your circumstance, you can have faith because Jesus is on your team. Even if it seems like the other team keeps coming at you, He is still in control. Plus, remember that others are watching to see how you handle yourself in hard situations. Do you give in to temptation to act like the world, or do you make an effort to be different and behave like Christ?

Hebrews 12:1-2 says, "Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

Think about that verse...and the advice from Derek Dooley. Don't let anything get in the way of following Jesus - no drama with your friends, no sin struggle, no family problem. You may not have all the answers to know how to win the game, but He does. So just pull on your Father's pants leg, pray, and let Him be in control. Then just wait for the inevitable highlight film...

P.S. The final four - you heard it here first....Kansas, Florida, Georgetown, and Memphis. Kansas takes it all.

Airplanes, Eyebrow Tweezers, and Jesus

**Disclaimer - I completely understand the need for heightened security in our airports, and no matter how ridiculous, I am thankful that they go to such drastic measures to protect passengers. This story in NO WAY reflects my defiance against airport policies.**

I'm not willing to admit that I'm AFRAID of flying, but let's just say that I would rather be on the ground. However, moving to Texas with family back in Tennessee has turned my thoughts on "I'll fly if I have to go over an ocean" to "I'll get on a plane if I can avoid being in a car for sixteen hours!) So every time that I go visit my friends and family in Tennessee, I have to once again come to terms with the fact that I am about to get in a giant piece of metal that weighs a ton and is somehow going to fly in the air at incredible speed to deliver me like a Fed-Ex package. I flew home on Saturday, and the worst of the flight was over before I even boarded the plane! Allow me to explain...

So I'm on Spring Break and flying home to Tennessee - a little bitter that I am leaving the 90 degree weather of Texas, but way excited to see my family and friends in Knoxville. James' flight to preach a revival in North Dakota left 30 minutes before mine, so our friend Jerred took us to the airport together. So said good-bye to James (no tears with him looking), but the second he left, I cried. (At this point, I should tell you that I will avoid crying at all costs. Some people's tears are beautiful. I, on the other hand, was cursed with being an ugly crier. My nose stays red for days, my eyes puff up and look like something you would find on a Playstation game villian, and my sister claims I don't have the balance down between tears and noise.) So here I am trying to suck back these tears, while the rest of the Spring Break crowd at the airport is avoiding me like if they look at the girl who appears that her dog just died, their dog might die too.

I check my bag. which is a big pink suitcase that the angry woman behind the counter just LOVED as she rolled her eyes so much at me that I thought they might get stuck in the back of her head. After that, I headed to the massive lines of security. There were signs everywhere about all of their new regulations for liquids on carry-ons, including crazy things like lotion, lipgloss, and mascara. I dig through my purse to get all of my random hand sanitizers and chapsticks, all while juggling my laptop and my computer bag (since they have to run through the x-ray machine separately), my shoes (which have to go through the machine as well), my purse, and my bottled water. Oh, and remember that I look like death. Wet death. I'm sure this was a sight to all who were around.

I'm walking through security, and surprise, nothing goes off. I turn around to get my stuff, and start gathering my belongings and put my shoe on. They kept one shoe because it triggered something, so now I was a one-shoe freak. They gave it back to me 5 minutes later after a full examination to find nothing abnornal with the Nike tennis shoe. Another surprise. Then, one of the guys in security grabs my bottled water from my hand. "Didn't you see the sign? You can't take this on the plane!" I tried to explain that I was going to drink it before I got on board. I mean, I was an hour and a half early, but he had the bottle out of my hands and into the trashcan before I could protest. Then he instructed the guy on the other side to search my purse. I hand over my purse, just ready to get this whole process over with, and the guy already thinks the girl with the threatening shoe and bottled water is the devil, and gives me a glare to make sure I know he thinks so.

Then...it happened. He found the most horrible weapon in my purse to justify their feelings of animosity toward me. AN EYEBROW TWEEZER! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! They figured me out. I was going to hijack the plane. Just me and my eyebrow tweezer. So then my sarcastic sense of humor sets in, and I begin laughing out loud as I picure me and my tweezers taking over the plane. "Everybody back up! I've got a two-inch pair of tweezers here, and I'm not afraid to use them!" or "Take this plane to the beach instead, or I'll pluck your eyebrows within an inch of your life!" I'm not sure, but at 5'4" and 108 lbs., I'm pretty sure the pilot could take me.

Anyway, after donating my eyebrow tweezers to that bin of "hazardous weapons" that also included scissors from a pocket-size sewing kit, nose-hair trimmers, and a nail file, I finally made it to Starbucks and my gate. There was something comforting about my Grande Non-fat Sugar-free Cinnamon Dulce Latte to ease my stress of the morning. As I sat down, (with both shoes on) I realized that everything was going to be okay. Though a part of me wanted to be with James as he preaches this week, I knew Jesus was going to be with him and he was going to be fine. While I really would prefer to stay on the ground where it won't hurt too much if gravity decides to do a little test run to make sure it still works, Jesus was going to be there with me. After commissioning us to share the gospel with the world before ascending into the heaven, he promised, "And lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." (That's lo, not LOW, so that means, I'm still covered in an airplane!")

So be encouraged today, knowing that Jesus is with you, no matter where you are or what your circumstance, whether that be protecting you from tweezer terrorists on an airplane, lounging on the beach, or preaching a revival in North Dakota. :)

The Virtues of Retail Therapy

Only a female could read the title and know that I am talking about shopping. Men just don't get it! So here's my attempt to help the men in our lives understand why it's IMPORTANT that we get to indulge in a little retail therapy. So the next time the man in your life gets frustrated when you need to go back to the mall, try one of these as WHY you shop. :)

1) "Shopping helps me work on my self-control." After all, shopping helps you learn to restrain yourself from buying things you cannot afford.

2) "Shopping teaches me patience." Make him come with you just once to see the lines at the dressing room and checkout counter on sale days.

3) "Shopping keeps me optimistic." The hope of finding ONE pair of jeans that fits just right after taking 25 pairs into the dressing room requires positive thinking.

4) "Shopping inspires my creativity." Rather than buying a store model's outfit from head to toe, there's nothing like the hunt in finding an outfit that includes a shirt from here, a skirt from there, shoes from across the street, a necklace that matched a dress you don't like anymore, etc., etc., etc.

5) "Shopping makes me appreciate you." After all, when he lets you go and have fun with the girls at the mall or just some alone time, it gives you time to miss him - and to give him an excuse to have boy's night for the next ballgame.

Feel free to comment and add your own lessons you've learned while shopping. :)

Top 10 Things Only Women Understand

Top 10 Things Only Women Understand

10. That it's possible to hurt your pet's feelings


9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors


8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds


7. Fat clothes


6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time


5. The difference between blue, teal, turqoise, navy, robin's egg blue, periwinkle, and baby blue


4. Cutting your hair to make it grow faster


3. Eyelash curlers (Seriously, pull one out around a guy, and watch the amazement.)


2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made



AND, the Number One thing only women understand:



1. OTHER WOMEN :)

There is one exception to this rule, and I think you know who I'm talking about. Just a reminder that the God of the universe is in control, cares about you, and knows everything. Before we go back into the closet, just spend some time thanking God for caring about every detail of your life - The Bible tells us He even knows how many hairs are on our head (with AND without the number that fell out when you washed it this morning!) 9 times out of 10, I'm guilty going to God just when I want something. Challenge yourself today to spend some time just thanking Him for who He is and all He does just for you!

Matthew 10:29-31

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."