Don't believe everything you read...

So I came across this list the other day of things girls should do for guys....some of them are right. Some of them are wrong. Some of them just need to be adjusted. So I've included the orignal list along with my corrections in bold.

1 As much as you want to talk about past relationships, keep it to a minimum, unless he asks. You don't want him to feel like he's in competition with anyone. However, there is a fine line here with honesty. If you can't be open about your past and things that have hurt you, etc., it won't be much of a relationship. So while you shouldn't talk incessantly about an ex-boyfriend. never neglect to be honest.

2 Every guy has a 'geeky' side of him. Whether it be video games, DVD, WoW, anime, football among other sports, or whatever. Don't make fun of him if you don't like it, either tolerate it, or learn to like it. DO NOT try to change him. If he's constantly ignoring you for that hobby of his, tell him. It's about compromise - chances are you can drag him around a mall later. But be sure there's a balance in the relationship so you are both getting to do things yoiu enjoy.

3 When you hug the boy, hold tight. It doesn't hurt to rest your head on him either. But there are always other ways of showing affection rather than just physical ways...

4 Compromise for movies. Watch his favorite movies and he'll give in for the movie you want to see. Just get really good at shutting your eyes during the war scenes. Welcome to my life.

5 Sometimes pay for the date! I know guys hate this, but if he takes you out constantly, it's more than likely he's going to be poor! Treat him sometime. Even if you just buy the snacks! Plus, you don't have to spend money to have a good time. And double dates with your parents are great ways to go out, save money, and make them happy too!

6 Hold his hand!! Even in the mall when you have a ton of bags, hold his hand. If you're at the mall and have a ton of bags, he should be carrying them. End of story.

7 Don't run away from his favorite stores, if you don't like them! Watch him. Gift ideas!! It's obvious a guy wrote this list. Girls don't run from stores. Period.

8 Any time your guy gives you a compliment, don't just roll your eyes. He means it, and you should smile and say thank you. I know it's hard, girls, but your guy really does care about you. If you respond this way and then get mad at him when he doesn't compliment you anymore, it's no wonder! Quit rejecting the poor guy's efforts to make you feel special!

9 Guys are pressured to take the relationship to a "deeper level". Stupid society. Anyway, if you dont want that in a relationship, tell him before things get too complicated! You can compromise too. If you are uncomfortable with something, STOP. Wow. I don't even know where to start with this one. THROW IT OUT. NEVER compromise. And if you don't want a real relationship, you shouldn't be dating in the first place.

10 “Fine" or “whatever" is not an appropriate ending to a conversation. Only makes matters worse. True. He's not a mind-reader. Tell him what's going on in a mature way, and never go to bed angry.

11 Life isn't a drama or a movie. This is real life, people. They don't often come with a sword, armor, and a white steed. That still doesn't give him an excuse to not treat you like a princess.

12 NEVER EVER kick them in the place below the belt. Even in a fight or argument, just don't do it. Hopefully, most girls wouldn't respond with physical violence, but just in case we need to go there - violence isn't the answer.

13 TRUST HIM. Don't scream when he looks at another girl. We know you were goggling at the cute guy that just passed. It's nature. Don't dig through his phonebook, and hey, guys can have female friends just like girls can have male friends. If this makes things awkward, talk about it. The Bible says that if you look at someone with lust, then you have committed adultry of the heart. This shouldn't be dismissed as "everyone does it, so it's okay." Pray for each other.

14 This should go without saying. Love him for who he is! Don't worry about what others think. Don't try to change him into what's cool and hip. Some compromises can be made, and tell him that if he ever has a problem you changing him, to tell you. But you can always encourage and build one another up to be better and grow closer to God. You should be constantly changing as you grow in Christ because you are a new creation in Him.

15 In an argument, just because society stereotypes women as being smarter, more mature, and men as dumb and immature, doesn't mean you are always right. No, no one is right all of the time. That's why you should always seek God's guidance and direction rather than man's (or woman's.)

16 Listen to him. Even if it's something you don't want to hear. Good communication is key. Yes, you should listen to him. But until you get married, your first authority is to your God and your second authority is your dad. If he is disobedient to one of those, don't listen to him.

17 Cook. It may sound stereotypical, but a lot of guys like having a meal cooked for them. A lot of it is the thought, but if you truly are terrible, then maybe this isn't one you should try. If you know how to cook, maybe teach him, or you both can learn together. Finally. One that doesn't need to be touched.

18 Sing. Many girls underestimate how well they sing. You don't have to be able to sing 10 octaves or whatever. Don't be embarrassed to sing in front of a guy, just let yourself go a bit and have some fun. This is true. Never neglect to be yourself.

19 A girl has the right to show off her body, but keep your pride and dignity. Be careful! If you show off too much, guys (and just people in general) may get the wrong message and make assumptions. I can't "amen" this one enough! Girls, if it's not for sale, don't advertise.

20 Just like girls want girl time, guys want guy time. Giving your guy space to hang with his friends is not only fair, but it shows you trust him in a way. Friendship is very important, especially fellowship with other believers. And just a side note, if you think that you can't trust his friends, then you probably can't trust him either.

21 Respect the guy for who he is, not because he earns your respect. Guys relate to each other on a respect level, and if you want him to open up to you, he has to know that you don't look down on him. Umm, wrong? Respect has to be earned. Sorry, guys. It's not that easy.

22 Let your guy take pictures of you. He may not admit it, but that picture will probably be with him always. Even if you think it looks horrible. As long as the picture is one you would show your parents, yes..

23 Don't always expect the guy to be the one to call. It is okay to call your boyfriend on occasion, and it shows him that you care about him and are thinking about him. And don't get upset if for some reason he doesn't have time to talk. He does have a life. If he's your boyfriend, you can call, but NEVER call a guy first before you're dating. Let him be the man and do his job. And guys, you may "have a life" but if she needs you, take the time.

24 Remind him that you appreciate all the sweet little things he does for you. Let him know it's not all in vain. True.

25 If a guy uses a key to let you into his car, reach over and open the door before he gets to it. I know this may be common sense to most girls, but you know, some do not do this. It's a tiny little action that can make a guy go "hey, she's considerate." Wow. This list was made before the magic unlock remote.

26 Let the guy open the door for you or do any other chivalric action. He's fulfilling your wish for a gentleman, don't deny him the chance to do something nice for you. Thank him! You are doing all these wonderful things for him, let him return the favor. YES! Being a gentlemen is never out of style. Yes, sure, you can do anything a man can do - but that doesn't mean that you have to.

27 Communicate with him. Tell him directly what's on your mind. You can always hope that he'll get your subtle hints or body language, but if it's important, you're better off using words. Yes. God is the only man that can read your mind.

28 Sometimes you have to take the initiative. Don't always wait for him to come to you, because if that's how it always is, you're going to lose him. Disagree. He's the man. Let him be the leader.

29 If they buy you jewelry, wear it around them, even if you don't like it. They will appreciate it, because it's the thought that counts. Not much jewelry that we wouldn't like....

30 A word of appreciation now and then regarding his protective/kind/chivalrousattitude will go miles toward the end. You won't regret it. That's been in here like 3 times already. Must be important. Be gracious. If you expect him to act like a gentleman, respond like a lady.

31 When you are talking to a guy you are interested in, lean in, touch his arm or hand, while your talking. physical touch communicates interest and value. Physical relationships are always difficult until marriage. Draw boundaries and stick to them. And don't just think that you have to run to that line and hang out there every time. Realize that until you get married, your kisses are all you have. Be stingy with them.

32 Whether it's from across the room or while your talking let him know that you are only interested in what he has to say, so look into his eyes and smile. Show him the same consideration that you want him to show to you.

33 Never judge him based on his friends. They may give some insight, but sometimes guys as well as girls can befriend people that are completely opposite of themselves because they like the change. Don't let who he hangs around with be the deciding factor of your judgments about him. Get to know him. False. Who you hang around says a lot about you. If you don't like his friends, it won't last. Don't bother.

34 Cute is what he is when he does something goofy, not how you should compliment his looks. Tell him he looks handsome... or any other word you'd use to describe James Bond. Just like you wouldn't want him to tell you that you look tough.... remember your audience. Even if you would take it as a compliment, that doesn't mean that he will!

35 Let him know you're on his side and that you support him and believe in him. Encouragement - all the way.

36 Call him instead of IMing or e-mail. Let him talk to you and hear your voice. Note: sometimes, it can't be helped. long distance relationships are sometimes forced to use AIM. In this case, use a camera!! You can see him and hear him. Typing is great, but a lot can get lost and mis-communicated. You'll save a lot of drama if you will only use texting or e-mail as a last resort.

37 Write him letters! If you want to tell him something but just can't come up with the words in person, take the time to write them down. He'll appreciate it because he can read word for word how you feel for him over and over again, and you know he won't forget it. There are some romantic gestures that will never go out of style...

38 Girls should do little things for guys. If they ask for a drink, just get it for them cuz they don't ask often. Or surprise them with little gifts (even if homemade) it ll show them that you care about them and thought about them during the day, even if they don't admit it, they like it as much as we do. Yeah, you shouldn't be his slave, but there's nothing wrong with having a servant's heart. Don't be insulted and get caught up in being a crazy feminist if he asks you to do something for him. If he's a good one, he does things for you too. No relationship should be one-sided. And the little things DO matter.

39 DON'T CHEAT ON HIM! IT'S NEVER WORTH IT! He WILL find out one way or another and odds are, you guys are through. Whether you were already split up or still dating... you'll be lucky if he still wants to be your friend! Doesn't that pretty much go without saying? But just in case you thought cheating on your boyfriend would help your relationship, it won't. And if you thought that, you're not ready to date.

40 Forgive him. Not hundreds of times for the same mistakes, but relationships are going to have problems and there will be apologies on both sides... Forgiveness is a huge part of a relationship. You may not always want to do it, and he will definitely not always deserve it, but then again, we don't necessarily always deserve forgiveness either...If you know that you and the one you are with should end the relationship, have the integrity and respect to tell them that the relationship is over. Do not just leave and never speak to them again. People are not perfect - no one is. So forgive and don't harbor bitterness, but also don't allow yourself to be emotionally abused. Guard your heart and lean on Christ. You will eventually find a man who is following Christ, and you can hop in line.

3 Word Phrases Women LOVE to Hear

So there's always a lot of hype about that three-word phrase that women love to hear...you know... "I love you." But you might want to pass off this Top 10 to the men in your life...tell them they can try these 3-word phrases to add some variety if they've had enough of the "mushy stuff."

1. YOU WERE RIGHT.

Yes, we know that we're right. But that doesn't change the fact that we want to know that you know that we are right!

2. I WAS WRONG.

Again, many times, stating the obvious....BUT by saying that you are wrong makes us realize that you are smart! Better to be wrong and smart than wrong AND dumb!

3. I AM SORRY.

Okay, this is the 3-word phrase that follows the above two. I was right, yes. You were wrong, yes. Meaning, you shouldn't have done it, so you should APOLOGIZE. Again, a smart decision.

4. LET’S EAT OUT.

You have just eliminated the stress of "How in the world am I going to go into the kitchen and make something that he won't think is "girl food" (aka rabbit food, or anything that resembles vegetables) and I don't have to question if it can still "moo" or "oink." Meaning, we will have more time and energy to spend with you. Totally worth the cash.

5. YOU LOOK THINNER.

It doesn't matter if we are trying to lose weight or not. This will make self esteem SOAR. Seriously. Just try it.

6. I’LL CLEAN UP.

In the event that we cook or work on a project for you, or whatever, one of the most annoying things is immediately going back to work. This is a way to SHOW the "I love you" that you dread saying.

7. LET’S JUST CUDDLE.

Seriously. That's just adorable.

8. WHICH CHORE FIRST?
And after we come back from a paralyzed state of shock, you won't believe the smiles and hugs that you will get for the rest of the day.

9. TAKE YOUR TIME.
Give us the time we need to get ready, and don't make us feel rushed. It will be worth your wait. Promise.

And the last one really needs a drumroll.......

10. BUY THEM BOTH.
Sometimes, we seriously can't decide. And we really want both...but that is too much to ask. But if you give us PERMISSION to get both, then we don't feel so bad. I mean, it's not something you neccessarily HAVE to do everytime, but you're not going to be hurting if you do...

Female Definitions

1.) FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right, and you need to shut up.

2.) FIVE MINUTES

If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) NOTHING

This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine." (Refer to #1 for a reminder.)

.4.) GO AHEAD

This is a dare, not permission. DON'T DO IT!

5.) LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about "nothing." (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) THAT'S OKAY.

This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

7.) THANKS.

A woman is thanking you - do not question or faint. The response "You're welcome" is appropriate and expected.

8.) WHATEVER.

Is a women's way of saying "I'm right, and I don't have time for you to be wrong any longer."

9.) DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT; I GOT IT.

Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. ( This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong" - for the woman's response refer to #3.)

Thanks to Ashlee Garner for passing along this funny (and mostly true) list.

"But Jesus always hung out with sinners!"

If you've ever called anyone out on the fact that they are hanging around people they shouldn't be hanging out with, those who are "super spiritual" will shoot back with the argument that Jesus always hung out with sinners. In fact, Jesus was known to hang out with the tax collectors, who were considered to be some of the most dishonest and deceptive people of his day. He did - you can see it in Matthew 9:11;11:19, Luke 5:30; 7:24, and 15:12, and Mark 2:16. So they take the "Jesus did it, so I can too" approach. But let's take a minute to look at Christ's motive for investing His time in sinful people.

The Pharisees asked Jesus why he ate with godless sinners. Jesus responded in Luke 5:31-32, "It is not those who are well who need a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but to call sinners to repentance." Basically, he said, "Duh! Because I want to gospel with them so they will ask for forgiveness of their sins and be saved!" Now, keep in mind that Jesus hated sin and worldly lifestyles, but he put up with man's sinfulness in hopes that they would turn from their evil ways. So ask yourself what your motivation is for hanging out with sinful people. Do you enjoy their worldly lifestyle and their company? Or is your sole purpose in being their friend to bring them to knowledge of salvation through Jesus?

Ready for the protest you'll get next? "Well, what do you expect me to do - hide in a corner and never talk to anyone who is not a Christian?!" Lucky for us, Paul answered this very question in I Corinthians 5:9-13: "I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people; I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world, or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters, for then you would have to go out of the world. But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so–called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler — not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church?"

Many will interpret this passage to mean that we can have close relationships with ungodly people...but that's not what Paul is saying at all! He's being realistic. We live in the world, and we can't take ourselves out if it...but we are to take those who are worldly out of the church. So yes...you will have contact with unbelievers. You will talk to them, you will work with them, you will go to school with them...but we are called to be set apart.

In II Corinthians 6:14-17, Paul writes again, "Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said, “I will dwell in them and walk among them; And I will be their God, and they shall be My people. Therefore, come out from their midst and be separate,” says the Lord. “And do not touch what is unclean; And I will welcome you.”

So the bottom line is that we are going to come in contact with unbelievers, but we have to decide how we are going to handle that problem before we are put in a bad situation. Read I Corinthians 15:33-34. Paul gives us three instructions in how to react when associating with an unbeliever. He tells us:

1) Do not be deceived. Do not let anything lure you away from the truth that can only be found in God's Word.

2) Become sober-minded. Don't lie to yourself that there is no danger in spending great amounts of time with unbelievers. Force yourself to think clearly.

3) Stop sinning. Sounds easy enough, right? WRONG! But it definately gives us something to work towards.

So ask yourself a few questions. Do you keep bad company? Do you have close relationships with people who do not acknowledge your God? Read the Word of God, and do what it says. Do not be deceived, become sober-minded, and stop sinning.

Jesus Tells You Who to be Friends With

I Corinthians 15:33 - "Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals."

Okay, before we dig into what this verse clearly says, let's look at what Paul is talking about through the entire chapter. He's talking about Christ's resurrection - the importance of it, what happens if you don't believe in it, how it happened, what our ressurected bodies will look like in heaven, and how it relates to when Jesus comes back one day. So why in the world in the middle of all that does he warn us that our good morals will be corrupted by bad company?

Well, the reason why Paul had to write all of that stuff was because the Christians during that day were being influenced by the thoughts of the Greek. The Greeks believed that there was no ressurection. So if there is no ressurection, then there's no judgement after death, no accounting before God, and no payment of our sins...leaving those who have ever sinned as condemned to hell rather than saved by Jesus for admittance to heaven. Those are some pretty serious consequences. Paul was warning those who were listening to the Greeks and confusing Christ's message in their mind of the dangers of listening to the wrong people.

Have your parents ever warned you about one of your friends? Maybe they've told you to be cautious around her. Maybe they wouldn't let you go over to her house. They might have even told you not to hang out with her. Did you ever respond to their objections of your friendship with the retort, "You CAN'T tell me who to be friends with!" Well...technically, they're your parents, and they can. But even if they couldn't, Jesus can. And He did. Just look at I Corinthians 15:33 above.


My teenage years in middle school were really the first years that I made my own social circle that didn't revolve around my parents. Growing up, my parents were ALWAYS around. My dad was a minister at my church until I graduated college, and my mom was a teacher at my school until the sixth grade. It was that first year of middle school that my primary social circle didn't somehow include someone in my family. I've heard it said that relatives are the family you're born with, and your friends are the family you get to choose. This is exactly true. Because whether you realize it or not, your friends influence and shape who you are just by being around them.

Now, before we get too far ahead, let me make sure you understand what a friend is and who I am really talking about. Your friends are more than just acquaintances. For example, an aquaintance might be someone that you talk to in math class everyday, but a friend is someone you talk to on the phone everyday. An aquaintance would be someone that you would invite to a party at your house, but a friend is someone who is there to help you set up for the party and help with the dishes after the party is over. Make sense?

We're girls. We love our friends. We love to spend a lot of time with our friends. So what happens when you become best friends with someone and you become inseperable? You begin to talk alike, act alike, people call you by one another's names, etc. A few times in my life, I've even been told that my best friend and I were starting to look alike!

But what happens if I hang around someone who makes bad decisions or someone who doesn't hold the same morals and values as me? Think I will change? Absolutely. Don't let yourself be fooled with the idea, "Oh, I won't get into that. It won't happen to me." Your friends reflect who you are and help determine the person you become. Choose friends who share your family values and the way you think. To illustrate my point, get a friend or a family member to help you. Stand in a chair while whoever you're with stands on the floor. Grab their hand and try to pull them up on the chair with you. WHEN you give up (because you will), switch roles. Ask them to pull you down to stand on the floor with them. How quickly did they do it? Your friends are the same way. It's much, much harder to pull your friends into a higher moral standard than it is for them to bring you down to their low level of integrity.

Now, I am not saying that you should choose to be friends with someone who is EXACTLY like you. You can have friends with different personality traits from you, but make sure the qualities they have will lead you to positive growth. Choose friends that will have a good influence on you. If you wish you were more focused, choose a friend who is determined. If you want to learn to control your temper, choose a friend who is slow to anger. These are the kinds of friends that will show you new ways to approach life and how to overcome problems when they come your way. There's nothing wrong with good habits rubbing off on you!

"But Jesus hung out with sinners and tax collectors!" Yes, he did...to share the gospel with them and to share the gospel with them only. We'll look more at that tomorrow...

A Bleeding Woman of Faith

I don't know about you, but I can be a doubter at times. I mean, if you come to me and tell me that you found a pair of Nine West shoes on the sale rack for $4.99, chances are, I'm going to insist that you're lying until I see the receipt. If someone were to tell me they were going to take me on a cruise for two weeks, I would probably be relunctant to get excited until I was actually on the boat. What can I say? I don't like to be set up for disappointment. But there was a lady unlike me who had amazing faith...so amazing that her story is actually included in the Bible in three different places. So pick your Gospel and check out either Matthew 9:20-22, Mark 5:25-34, or Luke 8:43-48.

Okay, now that you've read it from the source, I'll tell you my version. This poor woman has been bleeding for 12 years. Umm, that's over half of my life - LONG time! Can you imagine the pain and how weak this woman must have felt? If you've ever bled for longer than a few minutes, you know that it's absolutely draining. She had to have been exhausted all the time. But here was the worst part. In that day, if you were bleeding, you were considered unclean. So, no one could even touch her...and she wasn't allowed to touch anyone - it was LAW. So that's 12 years of bleeding with no hugs, no pats on the back, no strokes of her hair. Human touch is comforting...I mean, what girl doesn't like to be held when she's hurting? There are just some things we never outgrow...

So anyway, here's this woman and Jesus is walking by her. Now, Jesus was in a hurry because Jairus needed Him to come to his house because his daughter was dying. He was also surrounded by a huge crowd. She didn't have time to spill her sob story to Him in hopes that He would heal her, as He had been performing many miracles. The only time that she had with Jesus was to just touch Him as He walked by...and maybe, just MAYBE she would be healed. But remember...she wasn't allowed to touch anyone.

As Jesus walked by, this woman was overwhelmed by faith, reached out her hand, and touched His robe as He walked by. The Bible says, "Immediately, her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering." (Mark 5:29). WOW! IMMEDIATELY, her bleeding stopped and she stopped hurting. Just from touching Jesus' clothing. What joy! What FREEDOM! But wait a second...Jesus stopped and turned around. Oh no. Did He know she had touched Him? Was she about to be jailed for breaking the law?

Jesus asked, "Who touched my clothes?" Okay...I'm not sure about you, but if I was walking in the middle of a huge crowd and I felt something brush against my shirt, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't freak out. But Jesus knew that there was something different about this touch. A little frightened, the woman came forward. She knew if Jesus knew someone had touched His clothes that He also would know she was the one who touched Him.

And she did what any normal girl would do in a situation where she thought she would be in trouble. She cried...she fell at the feet of our Lord and poured out her story between her tears. When she finished, she looked up, and I believe that she looked into the pair of the kindest eyes that you could ever imagine. He wasn't angry. Not at all. Jesus was moved by her faith.

Now, I don't have a Scripture account for this. I mean, stories like this make it obvious that men wrote the Bible. There's not much detail and definately not a lot of touchy-feely stuff. But this is a touchy-feely story!!! And all Matthew, Mark, and Luke can give me is that Jesus said, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace, and be freed from your suffering." Now, don't get me wrong. Those are powerful words, and I believe that Jesus said them!! But I also want to know that Jesus placed his hand on her face and helped her stand up. I want to know that He hugged her and THEN he told her that her faith had healed her! When I get to heaven, Matthew, Mark, Luke and I are going to talk about writing DESCRIPTIVE accounts. (Just kidding....not really...but who knows? I probably won't care by then because I can just ask her myself!)

Again, our fact-favoring writing boys of the Bible simply move on in Scripture to the next miracle. But let's stay for a moment with that woman and imagine what it would have been like. Just minutes before, she was sick, bleeding, unclean, and suffering. After ONE TOUCH from Jesus and because of her faith in Him, she was healed. She was clean. And she was no longer in pain. I imagine that as Jesus walked on that this woman fell back to her knees. (because remember, Jesus helped her stand up...just my opinion, so take it for what you will!) :) I believe that she felt totally wrapped in God's presence and unbelievably grateful. Her faith had been rewarded.

So what exacty can we learn from this amazing woman of faith? Do you need an appointment to come to Jesus? No. Is Jesus EVER too busy for us? Absolutely not. Is there a problem that we have that He doesn't care about? No way. He is always there for us when we need Him. All you have to do is have faith and reach out to Him.

I'm going to challenge you to touch Jesus today and let Him heal you...whatever that may mean for you.

Are You For Real?

You’ve heard about people who pass off counterfeit money as real. Have you ever thought of counterfeit people? Maybe you hide who you really are to gain approval. Take this quiz to find out if you’re genuine.

1. Your friends decide to buy matching shirts at a brand- name store. You really don’t want to spend your money on an expensive shirt. You:

a. buy one anyway so you’ll fit in.

b. suggest making shirts with supplies at a craft store.

c. tell them you’ll think about it.

2. Your science teacher assigns a paper on why it’s a woman’s right to have an abortion. You:

a. write the paper but are careful to say, “Research says . . . ” so it’s not really your opinion.

b. ask for a different topic with which you agree.

c. write the paper giving the pro-life view of abortion.

3. The prom committee suggests a party on the beach after the prom. You know your dad will never let you go because he wants you to avoid situations that could lead to compromising situations. You:

a. suggest a series of old school favorites like roller skating, bowling and mini-golf.

b. say, “I can’t wait!”

c. let others talk.

4. You and your friends go to the mall. They want to shop for clothes, but you’d rather visit the bookstore. You:

a. shop for clothes hoping for a chance to suggest the bookstore later.

b. act like there’s nothing you’d rather do than paw through racks of skirts and tops.

c. ask them if they mind you going to the bookstore first and check back with them in 30 minutes to see what they’ve picked out.

5. A bunch of girls are gathering to watch the latest Friday night TV teen- drama. You’re tired of rich kids getting into trouble. You:

a. tell them you’ll pass. You’d rather spend that time doing something more worthwhile.

b. become an instant fan.

c. take a book along.

6. Your girlfriends are arguing over which candidate to vote for when it comes to the new student body president. Personally, you think the guy who isn’t as popular, but has a smart plan of action, is the best choice. You:

a. say you don’t know.

b. tell them your opinion.

c. go with the majority.

7. It is time to pick out dresses for the homecoming banquet. The first one you try on isn’t flattering on you, but your friends really like it. You"

a. tell them you’re going to look for one that will fit you better.

b. tell them you’ll think about it.

c. buy it. They have better taste than you anyway.

8. A guy friend asks you to the sports banquet. You think it’d be great to go with a friend like him so you don’t have to worry about impressing a guy you don’t know well. Your friends tell you to wait for a real date to ask you. You:

a. suggest everyone go as a group.

b. decide not to go to the banquet.

c. go with your guy friend.

9. Your boyfriend, who is a Christian, says he wonders if it’d be so bad to have premarital sex because of the commitment you have to each other. You:

a. tell him you aren’t ready.

b. change the subject.

c. tell him that premarital sex is compromising God’s best for you. There’s a reason why God desires sex to be saved for marriage, and you don’t want to mess with that plan.

Gathering the Evidence

Tally your score by using the point system for each question.

1. a = 0; b = 2; c = 1

2. a = 0; b = 1; c = 2

3. a = 2; b = 0; c = 1

4. a = 1; b = 0; c = 2

5. a = 2; b = 0; c = 1

6. a = 1; b = 2; c = 0

7. a = 2; b = 1; c = 0

8. a = 1; b = 0; c = 2

9. a = 1; b = 0; c = 2

Find the Fraud

Once your score is tallied, check to see where you fall in the lineup.

Missing In Action (0 to 5 points) You aren’t being true to yourself, and you’re letting others think you’re somebody you’re not. God created you in a unique and wonderful way (Psalm 139:14). This doesn’t mean you need to become outgoing or outspoken. Celebrate being you by being the real thing and answering truthfully when your opinion is asked or standing up for what you believe. God will help you find that balance between being silent and speaking up.

Artificial Flavoring Added (6 to 12 points) You occasionally stand up for yourself, but often you change a few things to fit in with the crowd. You try not to draw attention to yourself by expressing a different opinion than the group. It is good to be able to compromise and know you won’t always get your way, as long as you’re continuing to honor God with your choices. Don’t hesitate to let the true you show in both words and actions in those situations God calls you to take a stand and even express your preferences.

The Real Thing (13 to 18 points) What you see is what you get. You strive to find the balance between being the best you can be and accepting yourself the way you are. Remember there is a difference between always demanding your way and being true. When you speak out make sure you do it with gentleness, tact and love. You know that God will use your unique personality to do His will. The real you is the one God can best use.

This quiz was published by Brio Magazine by Focus on the Family - check them out at http://www.family.org .