Monday, March 12, 2007

Airplanes, Eyebrow Tweezers, and Jesus

**Disclaimer - I completely understand the need for heightened security in our airports, and no matter how ridiculous, I am thankful that they go to such drastic measures to protect passengers. This story in NO WAY reflects my defiance against airport policies.**

I'm not willing to admit that I'm AFRAID of flying, but let's just say that I would rather be on the ground. However, moving to Texas with family back in Tennessee has turned my thoughts on "I'll fly if I have to go over an ocean" to "I'll get on a plane if I can avoid being in a car for sixteen hours!) So every time that I go visit my friends and family in Tennessee, I have to once again come to terms with the fact that I am about to get in a giant piece of metal that weighs a ton and is somehow going to fly in the air at incredible speed to deliver me like a Fed-Ex package. I flew home on Saturday, and the worst of the flight was over before I even boarded the plane! Allow me to explain...

So I'm on Spring Break and flying home to Tennessee - a little bitter that I am leaving the 90 degree weather of Texas, but way excited to see my family and friends in Knoxville. James' flight to preach a revival in North Dakota left 30 minutes before mine, so our friend Jerred took us to the airport together. So said good-bye to James (no tears with him looking), but the second he left, I cried. (At this point, I should tell you that I will avoid crying at all costs. Some people's tears are beautiful. I, on the other hand, was cursed with being an ugly crier. My nose stays red for days, my eyes puff up and look like something you would find on a Playstation game villian, and my sister claims I don't have the balance down between tears and noise.) So here I am trying to suck back these tears, while the rest of the Spring Break crowd at the airport is avoiding me like if they look at the girl who appears that her dog just died, their dog might die too.

I check my bag. which is a big pink suitcase that the angry woman behind the counter just LOVED as she rolled her eyes so much at me that I thought they might get stuck in the back of her head. After that, I headed to the massive lines of security. There were signs everywhere about all of their new regulations for liquids on carry-ons, including crazy things like lotion, lipgloss, and mascara. I dig through my purse to get all of my random hand sanitizers and chapsticks, all while juggling my laptop and my computer bag (since they have to run through the x-ray machine separately), my shoes (which have to go through the machine as well), my purse, and my bottled water. Oh, and remember that I look like death. Wet death. I'm sure this was a sight to all who were around.

I'm walking through security, and surprise, nothing goes off. I turn around to get my stuff, and start gathering my belongings and put my shoe on. They kept one shoe because it triggered something, so now I was a one-shoe freak. They gave it back to me 5 minutes later after a full examination to find nothing abnornal with the Nike tennis shoe. Another surprise. Then, one of the guys in security grabs my bottled water from my hand. "Didn't you see the sign? You can't take this on the plane!" I tried to explain that I was going to drink it before I got on board. I mean, I was an hour and a half early, but he had the bottle out of my hands and into the trashcan before I could protest. Then he instructed the guy on the other side to search my purse. I hand over my purse, just ready to get this whole process over with, and the guy already thinks the girl with the threatening shoe and bottled water is the devil, and gives me a glare to make sure I know he thinks so.

Then...it happened. He found the most horrible weapon in my purse to justify their feelings of animosity toward me. AN EYEBROW TWEEZER! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! They figured me out. I was going to hijack the plane. Just me and my eyebrow tweezer. So then my sarcastic sense of humor sets in, and I begin laughing out loud as I picure me and my tweezers taking over the plane. "Everybody back up! I've got a two-inch pair of tweezers here, and I'm not afraid to use them!" or "Take this plane to the beach instead, or I'll pluck your eyebrows within an inch of your life!" I'm not sure, but at 5'4" and 108 lbs., I'm pretty sure the pilot could take me.

Anyway, after donating my eyebrow tweezers to that bin of "hazardous weapons" that also included scissors from a pocket-size sewing kit, nose-hair trimmers, and a nail file, I finally made it to Starbucks and my gate. There was something comforting about my Grande Non-fat Sugar-free Cinnamon Dulce Latte to ease my stress of the morning. As I sat down, (with both shoes on) I realized that everything was going to be okay. Though a part of me wanted to be with James as he preaches this week, I knew Jesus was going to be with him and he was going to be fine. While I really would prefer to stay on the ground where it won't hurt too much if gravity decides to do a little test run to make sure it still works, Jesus was going to be there with me. After commissioning us to share the gospel with the world before ascending into the heaven, he promised, "And lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." (That's lo, not LOW, so that means, I'm still covered in an airplane!")

So be encouraged today, knowing that Jesus is with you, no matter where you are or what your circumstance, whether that be protecting you from tweezer terrorists on an airplane, lounging on the beach, or preaching a revival in North Dakota. :)

2 comments:

Who is She?.... said...

I can just se you now with your tweezers haha! oh and my mom definitely believes in the "low" i wil be with you when it comes to her flying haha. Glad you finally got there!

Gabrielle said...

I love you! I can see that whole story reenacted in my head. You had Jarryd laughing.... We have got to plan a writing date together. See you soon!

Esther 4:14b

"And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"